‘South Park’ Back With Fellatio Shout-Outs Galore, No Trump, Lots Of “Chinese Sh*tty E-Bikes” & ‘South America’ Re-Branding

South Park is back for its 29th season and while Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s satire is now called South America in homage to Donald Trump’s mastery of geography, the Comedy Central show’s bite is still stars-and-stripes sharp — on or off “Chinese sh*tty e-bikes.”

Yep, it was the kids’ status symbol of “damn e-bikes” that “should be illegal,” according to cycling Dads, and the big change coming in November (aka the long-awaited debut of Grand Theft Auto 6) that dominated the Season 29 premiere Wednesday.

After taking a Satan-impregnating POTUS to task and the animated wood-chipper last year on the Emmy-winning animated series, the newly titled South America tonight avoided any mention of Trump. Instead, the show slammed everyone who got on their knees for the former Apprentice host since Trump’s return to office — with a lot of references to fellatio. Like, a lot of references.

For example: “It’s an outrage! I’ve lived in South America all my life, and I’ve never seen anything like this. These kids almost killed me on the sidewalk, and then told me to s*ck their d*ck. And when you rolled over and sucked a dc*k with the change in the town name, did you feel any outrage? There’s plenty of upset people here, and the question on everyone’s mind is: Is the e-bike change permanent?”

I could say ask Google, Apple and all the rest who are now calling the Gulf of Mexico and Lake Ontario the Gulf of America and Lake America, respectively, since El Presidente took out his Oval Office sharpie …but that would be too pedantic.

As South Park has done for decades, South America also mocked the wide-eye and blue-sky hopes of the left and the anti-MAGA crowd that the midterms will end the current chaos — or just really looked forward to the much-delayed GTA 6 launch in November. Or both.

There was all that, but more so there were over and over the misplaced chaos of the “vicious South American” e-biker gang of Cartman, Stan, Kylie and Kenny. “South America used to be a quiet place, but now you got these kids just going hog wild,” one parent exclaims, before the band of Dads beat up Mr. Kim for selling those previously mentioned cheap “Chinese sh*tty e-bikes” to their kids for pennies.

And yeah, all those angry Dads in spandex standing in for ICE (kinda) and the kids as hunted illegal aliens — and yes, Kenny dies to unite South America in grief and “South America Strong” tees.

Untangling all this as an exploration of the frayed and divided America of 2026 is a dog’s breakfast at best. Instead, just enjoy the whacking of the pompous, the powerful and parents — that’s what Stone and Parker do. They’ve been doing it since 1997. Tonight they showed exactly just how good they still are at it. In fact, call it South Park or South America, the result was still damn good.

Or, put another way: “Two words that bring a smile to my mouth: America and South. We are South America. We are South America in that northern mountain zone. We’ll always be south. We won’t change for anyone.”

Don’t.