I Am ‘Good Burger’

I got this assignment because I am the world’s biggest Good Burger fan. I should probably also disclose that it’s one of the few movies I’ve ever seen.

But no matter.

The iconic buddy comedy starring Nickelodeon linchpins Kenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell debuted in 1997, becoming a cinematic bildungsroman for my 14-year-old self and a blueprint for a fantastical world. The laugh-a-minute screenplay informed my entire lexicon, which explains why, 26 years later, no one still ever knows what I’m talking about.

The film opens on the last day of school when Thompson’s freewheeling Dexter crashes into a car driven by his teacher–played by real-life comedian Sinbad–and racks up a repair bill large enough to dash his plans for hanging at the pool and necessitate a summer job at the local burger joint. Across the counter at Good Burger, he meets the perpetually cheerful Ed, played by Mitchell, an employee so wildly enthusiastic about his minimum wage job that he sleeps in his Good Burger uniform and dreams of flying with anthropomorphized fast food.

Today, many Internet synopses call Ed a dim-witted fast food worker; I maintain he’s a misunderstood comedic genius who carries the roisterous film for a full 103 minutes as he and a reluctant Dexter join forces to battle Mondo Burger, the bigger burger business opening across the street.

This spring, when Paramount+ announced the making of a Good Burger 2, I dusted the original off the proverbial shelf and watched it with adult eyes. Sadly, this forced me to break up with a boyfriend whom I truly loved because he did not love the movie, which I took to mean he didn’t love me. You see, I am Good Burger, and Good Burger is me.

It can be tough to be the world’s biggest Good Burger fan. When Paramount+ publicized the sequel, X was abuzz with comments such as “We didn’t ask for this” and “Sad and embarrassing for them!” The one that truly broke my heart simply asked, “There was a first one?”

Now, as of last week, there is a second one. It’s 2023, Dexter is a failed inventor whose pivotal project goes up in literal flames. Ed, well, Ed still works at Good Burger. Shunned by investor Mark Cuban, Dexter has no choice but to flee into the fast-food fold. Misadventures ensue as the second movie follows the same template as the first–except this time there’s robots, self-driving cars, and a burger conglomerate that wants to go global, from Hollywood to Hong Kong.

It’s up to Dexter and Ed to save the company yet again, escalating in a spectacular worldwide food fight. For the most part, nothing has changed. Kenan and Kel haven’t aged at all. And neither have I.