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Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life Paperback – Picture Book, September 1, 1995
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“Superb writing advice…. Hilarious, helpful, and provocative.” —The New York Times Book Review
For a quarter century, more than a million readers—scribes and scribblers of all ages and abilities—have been inspired by Anne Lamott’s hilarious, big-hearted, homespun advice. Advice that begins with the simple words of wisdom passed down from Anne’s father—also a writer—in the iconic passage that gives the book its title:
“Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he’d had three months to write. It was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother’s shoulder, and said, ‘Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.’”
- Print length256 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherVintage
- Publication dateSeptember 1, 1995
- Dimensions5.15 x 0.78 x 7.96 inches
- ISBN-100385480016
- ISBN-13978-0385480017
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now.
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From the Publisher
Editorial Reviews
Amazon.com Review
Review
—The New York Times Book Review
“A warm, generous, and hilarious guide through the writer’s world and its treacherous swamps.”
—Los Angeles Times
“One of the funniest books on writing ever published.”
—The Christian Science Monitor
“A gift to all of us mortals who write or ever wanted to write. . . . Sidesplittingly funny, patiently wise and alternately cranky and kind—a reveille to get off our duffs and start writing now, while we still can.”
—Seattle Times
“Bird by Bird would be worth reading just for Lamott’s ele- gant, moving, and often-hilarious prose. But the advice she offers is just as fantastic as the style with which it’s delivered.”
—Forbes
“Anne Lamott understands better than anyone that writers need help. . . . She writes so well, in fact, that it’s hard to believe that she, too, has trouble with writing. That’s what’s so deeply comforting about this book.”
—The Wall Street Journal
“Deftly and honestly explores the mental challenges of being a writer. . . . Lamott’s advice is, simply put, invaluable.”
—Bustle
“[Lamott] uses her writing exercises or lessons as a way to help us more deeply understand ourselves and the human condition in all its messiness. If you’re looking for sense-making and meaning during this deeply destabilizing time, this book is timeless.”
—Elise Hu, TED Talks Daily
“Delight[s] with insight and descriptive acumen. This humorous, insightful, no-nonsense approach will remind novices why they are writing.”
—Kirkus Reviews
“Offers unique inspiration. . . . An honest appraisal of what it takes to be a writer and why it matters so much.”
—Library Journal
From the Publisher
"Superb writing advice... hilarious, helpful and provocative." -- New York Times Book Review.
"A warm, generous and hilarious guide through the writer's world and its treacherous swamps." -- Los Angeles Times.
"A gift to all of us mortals who write or ever wanted to write... sidesplittingly funny, patiently wise and alternately cranky and kind -- a reveille to get off our duffs and start writing now, while we still can." -- Seattle Times.
From the Inside Flap
From the Back Cover
About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
The very first thing I tell my new students on the first day of a workshop is that good writing is about telling the truth. We are a species that needs and wants to understand who we are. Sheep lice do not seem to share this longing, which is one reason they write so very little. But we do. We have so much we want to say and figure out. Year after year my students are bursting with stories to tell, and they start writing projects with excitement and maybe even joy—finally their voices will be heard, and they are going to get to devote themselves to this one thing they’ve longed to do since childhood. But after a few days at the desk, telling the truth in an interesting way turns out to be about as easy and pleasurable as bathing a cat. Some lose faith. Their sense of self and story shatters and crumbles to the ground. Historically they show up for the first day of the workshop looking like bright goofy ducklings who will follow me anywhere, but by the time the second class rolls around, they look at me as if the engagement is definitely off.
“I don’t even know where to start,” one will wail.
Start with your childhood, I tell them. Plug your nose and jump in, and write down all your memories as truthfully as you can. Flannery O’Connor said that anyone who survived childhood has enough material to write for the rest of his or her life. Maybe your childhood was grim and horrible, but grim and horrible is Okay if it is well done. Don’t worry about doing it well yet, though. Just start getting it down.
Now, the amount of material may be so overwhelming that it can make your brain freeze. When I had been writing food reviews for a number of years, there were so many restaurants and individual dishes in my brainpan that when people asked for a recommendation, I couldn’t think of a single restaurant where I’d ever actually eaten. But if the person could narrow it down to, say, Indian, I might remember one lavish Indian palace, where my date had asked the waiter for the Rudyard Kipling sampler and later for the holy-cow tartare. Then a number of memories would come to mind, of other dates and other Indian restaurants.
So you might start by writing down every single thing you can remember from your first few years in school. Start with kindergarten. Try to get the words and memories down as they occur to you. Don’t worry if what you write is no good, because no one is going to see it. Move on to first grade, to second, to third. Who were your teachers, your classmates? What did you wear? Who and what were you jealous of? Now branch out a little. Did your family take vacations during those years? Get these down on paper. Do you remember how much more presentable everybody else’s family looked? Do you remember how when you’d be floating around in an inner tube on a river, your own family would have lost the little cap that screws over the airflow valve, so every time you got in and out of the inner tube, you’d scratch new welts in your thighs? And how other families never lost the caps?
If this doesn’t pan out, or if it does but you finish mining this particular vein, see if focusing on holidays and big events helps you recollect your life as it was. Write down everything you can remember about every birthday or Christmas or Seder or Easter or whatever, every relative who was there. Write down all the stuff you swore you’d never tell another soul. What can you recall about your birthday parties—the disasters, the days of grace, your relatives’ faces lit up by birthday candles? Scratch around for details: what people ate, listened to, wore—those terrible petaled swim caps, the men’s awful trunks, the cocktail dress your voluptuous aunt wore that was so slinky she practically needed the Jaws of Life to get out of it. Write about the women’s curlers with the bristles inside, the garters your father and uncles used to hold up their dress socks, your grandfathers’ hats, your cousins’ perfect Brownie uniforms, and how your own looked like it had just been hatched. Describe the trench coats and stoles and car coats, what they revealed and what they covered up. See if you can remember what you were given that Christmas when you were ten, and how it made you feel inside. Write down what the grown-ups said and did after they’d had a couple of dozen drinks, especially that one Fourth of July when your father made Fish House punch and the adults practically had to crawl from room to room.
Remember that you own what happened to you. If your childhood was less than ideal, you may have been raised thinking that if you told the truth about what really went on in your family, a long bony white finger would emerge from a cloud and point at you, while a chilling voice thundered, “We told you not to tell.” But that was then. Just put down on paper everything you can remember now about your parents and siblings and relatives and neighbors, and we will deal with libel later on.
“But how?” my students ask. “How do you actually do it?”
You sit down, I say. You try to sit down at approximately the same time every day. This is how you train your unconscious to kick in for you creatively. So you sit down at, say, nine every morning, or ten every night. You put a piece of paper in the typewriter, or you turn on your computer and bring up the right file, and then you stare at it for an hour or so. You begin rocking, just a little at first, and then like a huge autistic child. You look at the ceiling, and over at the clock, yawn, and stare at the paper again. Then, with your fingers poised on the keyboard, you squint at an image that is forming in your mind—a scene, a locale, a character, whatever—and you try to quiet your mind so you can hear what that landscape or character has to say above the other voices in your mind. The other voices are banshees and drunken monkeys. They are the voices of anxiety, judgment, doom, guilt. Also, severe hypochondria. There may be a Nurse Ratched–like listing of things that must be done right this moment: foods that must come out of the freezer, appointments that must be canceled or made, hairs that must be tweezed. But you hold an imaginary gun to your head and make yourself stay at the desk. There is a vague pain at the base of your neck. It crosses your mind that you have meningitis. Then the phone rings and you look up at the ceiling with fury, summon every ounce of noblesse oblige, and answer the call politely, with maybe just the merest hint of irritation. The caller asks if you’re working, and you say yeah, because you are.
Yet somehow in the face of all this, you clear a space for the writing voice, hacking away at the others with machetes, and you begin to compose sentences. You begin to string words together like beads to tell a story. You are desperate to communicate, to edify or entertain, to preserve moments of grace or joy or transcendence, to make real or imagined events come alive. But you cannot will this to happen. It is a matter of persistence and faith and hard work. So you might as well just go ahead and get started.
I wish I had a secret I could let you in on, some formula my father passed on to me in a whisper just before he died, some code word that has enabled me to sit at my desk and land flights of creative inspiration like an air-traffic controller. But I don’t. All I know is that the process is pretty much the same for almost everyone I know. The good news is that some days it feels like you just have to keep getting out of your own way so that whatever it is that wants to be written can use you to write it. It is a little like when you have something difficult to discuss with someone, and as you go to do it, you hope and pray that the right words will come if only you show up and make a stab at it. And often the right words do come, and you—well—“write” for a while; you put a lot of thoughts down on paper. But the bad news is that if you’re at all like me, you’ll probably read over what you’ve written and spend the rest of the day obsessing, and praying that you do not die before you can completely rewrite or destroy what you have written, lest the eagerly waiting world learn how bad your first drafts are.
The obsessing may keep you awake, or the self-loathing may cause you to fall into a narcoleptic coma before dinner. But let’s just say that you do fall asleep at a normal hour. Then the odds are that you will wake up at four in the morning, having dreamed that you have died. Death turns out to feel much more frantic than you had imagined. Typically you’ll try to comfort yourself by thinking about the day’s work—the day’s excrementitious work. You may experience a jittery form of existential dread, considering the absolute meaninglessness of life and the fact that no one has ever really loved you; you may find yourself consumed with a free-floating shame, and a hopelessness about your work, and the realization that you will have to throw out everything you’ve done so far and start from scratch. But you will not be able to do so. Because you suddenly understand that you are completely riddled with cancer.
And then the miracle happens. The sun comes up again. So you get up and do your morning things, and one thing leads to another, and eventually, at nine, you find yourself back at the desk, staring blankly at the pages you filled yesterday. And there on page four is a paragraph with all sorts of life in it, smells and sounds and voices and colors and even a moment of dialogue that makes you say to yourself, very, very softly, “Hmmm.” You look up and stare out the window again, but this time you are drumming your fingers on the desk, and you don’t care about those first three pages; those you will throw out, those you needed to write to get to that fourth page, to get to that one long paragraph that was what you had in mind when you started, only you didn’t know that, couldn’t know that, until you got to it. And the story begins to materialize, and another thing is happening, which is that you are learning what you aren’t writing, and this is helping you to find out what you are writing. Think of a fine painter attempting to capture an inner vision, beginning with one corner of the canvas, painting what he thinks should be there, not quite pulling it off, covering it over with white paint, and trying again, each time finding out what his painting isn’t, until finally he finds out what it is.
And when you do find out what one corner of your vision is, you’re off and running. And it really is like running. It always reminds me of the last lines of Rabbit, Run: “his heels hitting heavily on the pavement at first but with an effortless gathering out of a kind of sweet panic growing lighter and quicker and quieter, he runs. Ah: runs. Runs.”
I wish I felt that kind of inspiration more often. I almost never do. All I know is that if I sit there long enough, something will happen.
My students stare at me for a moment. “How do we find an agent?” they ask.
I sigh. When you are ready, there are books that list agents. You can select a few names and write to them and ask if they would like to take a look at your work. Mostly they will not want to. But if you are really good, and very persistent, someone eventually will read your material and take you on. I can almost promise you this. However, in the meantime, we are going to concentrate on writing itself, on how to become a better writer, because, for one thing, becoming a better writer is going to help you become a better reader, and that is the real payoff.
But my students don’t believe me. They want agents, and to be published. And they also want refunds.
Almost all of them have been writing at least for a little while, some of them all of their lives. Many of them have been told over the years that they are quite good, and they want to know why they feel so crazy when they sit down to work, why they have these wonderful ideas and then they sit down and write one sentence and see with horror that it is a bad one, and then every major form of mental illness from which they suffer surfaces, leaping out of the water like trout—the delusions, hypochondria, the grandiosity, the self-loathing, the inability to track one thought to completion, even the hand-washing fixation, the Howard Hughes germ phobias. And especially, the paranoia.
You can be defeated and disoriented by all these feelings, I tell them, or you can see the paranoia, for instance, as wonderful material. You can use it as the raw clay that you pull out of the river: surely one of your characters is riddled with it, and so in giving that person this particular quality, you get to use it, shape it into something true and funny or frightening. I read them a poem by Phillip Lopate that someone once sent me, that goes:
We who are
your closest friends
feel the time
has come to tell you
that every Thursday
we have been meeting,
as a group,
to devise ways
to keep you
in perpetual uncertainty
frustration
discontent and
torture
by neither loving you
as much as you want
nor cutting you adrift.
Your analyst is
in on it,
plus your boyfriend
and your ex-husband;
and we have pledged
to disappoint you
as long as you need us.
In announcing our
association
we realize we have
placed in your hands
a possible antidote
against uncertainty
indeed against ourselves.
But since our Thursday nights
have brought us
to a community
of purpose
rare in itself
with you as
the natural center,
we feel hopeful you
will continue to make unreasonable
demands for affection
if not as a consequence
of your disastrous personality
then for the good of the collective.
Product details
- Publisher : Vintage
- Publication date : September 1, 1995
- Edition : 1st Paperback Edition
- Language : English
- Print length : 256 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0385480016
- ISBN-13 : 978-0385480017
- Item Weight : 9.2 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.15 x 0.78 x 7.96 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #3,194 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Anne Lamott is the New York Times bestselling author of Help, Thanks, Wow; Small Victories; Stitches; Some Assembly Required; Grace (Eventually); Plan B; Traveling Mercies; Bird by Bird; Operating Instructions, and the forthcoming Hallelujah Anyway. She is also the author of several novels, including Imperfect Birds and Rosie. A past recipient of a Guggenheim Fellowship and an inductee to the California Hall of Fame, she lives in Northern California.
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Customers find this book to be an excellent resource for both aspiring and established authors, praising its warm writing style and thorough advice. The book is entertaining and holds readers' attention like a good novel, while being peppered with inspirational personal experiences and thought-provoking life lessons. Customers appreciate its humor, with one noting how it's "clothed in funny anecdotes," while another describes it as profoundly expressing feeling and reality.
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Customers find the book highly readable, describing it as a pleasure to read and a brilliant read for both aspiring and established authors.
"Great book, bought it new. Will read again and again... The entries are short-ish and humorous and HUMAN. The author's voice is honest and endearing...." Read more
"...No, what makes this a great book is its focus on the inner voice(s) that confronts every would-be writer, you know, the inner voice that casts doubt..." Read more
"For any new writer this is a great read; I was afraid I'd wake up my kids from laughing when I read late at night." Read more
"Funny, inspiring ... good read. Get it. She blends humor and good advice. Not so much a how-to as a motivational read." Read more
Customers praise the book's writing quality, noting that good writing is about telling the truth and that it makes them want to write.
"She is an amusing and informative writer. I enjoyed some of the jokes, and was moved almost to tears by some of the stories and anecdotes...." Read more
"One of the best books on writing you'll ever come across. Not so much a how-to... Bird by Bird is more of a WHY SHOULD...." Read more
"I can honestly say that this is the best book on writing that I've ever read, and yes, it's also the only book on writing that I've ever read...." Read more
"An inspiring read for new writers. Well written with hard truths and a dollop of humor. I thumb through it from time to time when I get stuck." Read more
Customers enjoy the book's humor, describing it as wonderfully and wittily written, with one customer noting how it's clothed in funny anecdotes.
"Practical, sound and funny. The wisdom of a seasoned writer shared with all who have ever dreamt about sitting at a keyboard and opening their soul...." Read more
"Funny, insightful, and actually useful to aspiring writers..... or writers who need a jump start to get back at it.... A must have on the shelves of..." Read more
"...But it's so much more than a book about writing. She is witty and endearing and revealing. One of my favorite authors now that I've finally found her." Read more
"...Honest, humorous and full of passion, this book separates the die-hards from the casual writers, it’s like a litmus test and hazing, and if you make..." Read more
Customers find the book's advice thorough and practical, providing great life guidance.
"...Good advice throughout makes this Bird by Bird practical and helpful as well as humorous and interesting." Read more
"...Anne Lamott gives the serious would-be writer a credible, practical, no-bullshit pathway to using your heart, honesty and compassion in the service..." Read more
"...And good grief does she have a lot of great advice, tremendous wisdom, and the desire to have others do well. What a great book...." Read more
"...She made me laugh and think. You get it done- bird by bird. Great advice." Read more
Customers find the book inspiring, with its peppered personal experiences and great life lessons.
"...Actually, it's hard to find the words that describe this book. It's inspiring, frustrating, and makes the reader laugh, cry, scratch their head, and..." Read more
"definitely hilarious at times, but also educational and inspirational. if you want to be a writer, you have to write…and read this book." Read more
"...spending the past few months slowly digesting Lamott's bits of wit, wisdom and occasional inappropriate language,..." Read more
"...see myself returning to for years to come for its great wisdom and inspiration...." Read more
Customers find the book fully entertaining and fulfilling, describing it as a happy and amazing experience.
"...It's as much about living as it is about writing. Lamott's engaging, vulnerable storytelling, sense of humor plus her honest instruction make this..." Read more
"Entertaining and full of straight talk and information. If you want to be a creative writer with heart, read this. It's a must!" Read more
"...It is entertaining and insightful. If you want to read a book that will improve your writing, this is the one I would recommend." Read more
"...This one is not! It makes sense, is an interesting and easy read and connects with the reader. Thank you Ann Lamont! My students approve!" Read more
Customers find the book insightful and informative, appreciating its interesting topics. One customer notes that the anecdotes provide invaluable guidance for understanding writing and life, while another mentions that the content makes a lot of sense.
"Funny, insightful, and actually useful to aspiring writers..... or writers who need a jump start to get back at it.... A must have on the shelves of..." Read more
"Amusing and informative. I laughed my way through the book and could not put it down. It made me hungry for more and more Lamott titles. Now on no. 4" Read more
"...It is inspirational as well as informational - and funny. I'm reading it again as soon as I finish." Read more
"Informative and entertaining to read. It made me feel that my thoughts might be worth recording!" Read more
Customers find the book heartwarming, with its profound expressions of feeling and reality resonating with their souls. They describe it as sincere and passionate, with one customer noting how it provides a context for both joy and pain.
"...It is funny, poignant and so honest that I felt Annie Lamott new me and all my secret fears." Read more
"...With her personal anecdotes, some dramatic and touching, others hilariously melodramatic, the author is transformed into a relatable character who..." Read more
"...Anne Lamott's wisdom, delivered with wit and poignancy, is a map for how to live life. I will read this over many times." Read more
"...practical, no-bullshit pathway to using your heart, honesty and compassion in the service of finding and developing your own unique voice...." Read more
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Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on October 3, 2011Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseAnne Lamott is not a cheerleader, more like the Burgess Meredith with the water bottle and bucket in Rocky's corner between rounds -- I'm also guessing she wouldn't wilt if she had to slash your eye open if like Rocky it got sealed shut. She knows you are going to get hit hard, and she reminds you that you know it too. She tells you not to get distracted by that which doesn't matter to the process of writing. Much of this she learned from her father, who was also a career writer. He taught her it was the doing that mattered, not the surrounding mechanical functions that seem like they matter.
What struck me repeatedly in Lamott's mini-lessons was her deep understanding of process -- that output of a work is not so much the full work itself, but an assembly of building blocks, one at a time, each a commitment, and only in totality something more. She does not advocate bonehead process or ridiculous formulaic mandate - this is not a how-to manual -- she just wants us to care about what we are doing and accomplish it in a series of heartfelt steps. There are no shortcuts, it's a little more each day, a continuum that adds up to a satisfying and cohesive whole. This is not breakthrough thinking, but it's a lesson we need to learn over and over, and it's not just about writing. Creative process is the heart of innovation. Think of all the elements that make the iPad great. If all the elements weren't great, it would not be great. Same with a restaurant menu and wine list. Same with an office skyscraper or memorial monument. Same with a short story, same with a novel. Summary impression rests in the details, all the many tiny parts or moments -- and all those details require hard thought and careful design.
Lamott is smart about this, she tells you that getting it right is not going to happen out of the gate and unnerving strides at perfection can be your worst enemy. She has an excellent descriptor for the real quality of the first drafts to which we aspire. I'll let you discover that on your own so the word does not get scraped here. Her point is, just get the words out, work on making them better later, a layer at a time.
She also allows us not to obsess unnecessarily with locking the full road map before we explore, because again that can impede our work. How far do we need to see ahead? "About two or three feet ahead of you" is plenty she tell us, quoting E.L. Doctorow: "..writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way." She says this is "right up there with the best advice about writing, or life, I have ever heard." I tend to agree.
There is tremendous empathy in Lamott's world view, she offers a sense of shared experience that is reinforcing and comforting. Lamott talks about the imaginary radio station playing in your head -- another colorful descriptor I will let you discover -- that tells us over and over again why we can't do something, why the work we are doing is neither good nor worth doing. Learning to turn off that radio is our key to moving forward, we all hear it from time to time, but when it becomes perpetual, that is when our ability to create interesting work stops completely.
Lamott is just so honest and clear about all the factors that stop us from moving forward because she not only has experienced them, she continues to experience them. She does not position herself as a guru or weekend seminar success evangelist, but simply as someone who can reflect on problems of creativity because she deals with problems of creativity endlessly in her own life. She is even more honest in telling us that no one can make these problems go away once and for all, certainly not with any form of temporal success. All we can do is know that these obstructions will always be there, so we must embrace confronting them. Sometimes it really is good to know that none of us are experiencing roadblocks on our own, the fact that someone like Lamott tells you she is experiencing what you are experiencing is precisely the empathy that builds strength and resistance because the experiences are shared, bad and good. Her humility is reinforcing and refreshing and uncompromisingly inspiring.
"Bird by Bird" is not a long book, it can be read if you wish initially in a single sitting, but it is the kind of book you will find yourself coming back to for this chapter or that, this phrase or that. Lamott writes with good humor, even when she tackles very difficult and personal matters of her own life and those around her. The more I think about her framework, the more I am convinced it is much more broadly applicable then perhaps she even considered. I see the guidance as useful in company life, in financial life, in family life, in political life, and in government life. All of these require effective process to get them right, there are no shortcuts, and the rewards can be the smallest where the challenges are the greatest. That does not mean the rewards aren't meaningful, but it is the context of those rewards and the expectations that one sets for success that truly inform us when we are steering toward a final draft.
Review excerpted from my blog:
[...]
- Reviewed in the United States on March 14, 2025Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseBird by Bird celebrated its 25th anniversary Dec, 2024. It's my first and favorite craft book on writing and the one I've shared with friends who've expressed an interest in writing. It's as much about living as it is about writing. Lamott's engaging, vulnerable storytelling, sense of humor plus her honest instruction make this book a must for everyone. It's a classic for a reason—even Ted Lasso referred to it! Lamott has given us mantras that I live by: "Keep your ass in the chair" in addition to the iconic title. She continues to inspire people world-wide with her activism, teaching, and writing.
Synopsis: A non-fiction handbook to writing (and life), offering pragmatic advice and inspiration to aspiring writers through a personal and often humorous lens, drawing on her own experiences as an author. The central theme is to approach writing one step at a time, symbolized by the title phrase "bird by bird," which comes from advice her father gave her brother.
Bird by Bird is a well-loved, often read classic!
- Reviewed in the United States on November 14, 2015Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseI’m on this rereading kick and also on a reading-books-about-writing kick and Bird by Bird, Some Instructions on Writing and Life, by Anne Lamott, heads the list. Part writing guide, part life coaching session, and part true confessions, Bird by Bird is a delight for readers and writers alike. One summer, Lamott’s ten year-old brother had waited three months to begin a project on birds that was due the next day. Close to tears and unable to even move, he sat among his books and papers at the kitchen table. Lamott’s father, a writer and maybe Lamott’s favorite person ever, put an arm around his son and said, “Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.”
The book is peppered with such sage advice while Lamott remains the quintessential social commenter and odd man out, full of more than a few stories of her life gone wrong. What makes her writing so enjoyable is the rough terrain she’s crossed to bring it to us through glimpses of her childhood and the rest of her life. Lamott shares some of her writing techniques such as sitting at her desk and staring at a small one-inch empty picture frame when she’s out of ideas. She watches that picture frame until something comes to her. Sometimes she gets up to make a phone call or eat a snack while the picture frame sits there as a reminder, but she always goes back to her chair and that picture frame. To be a writer, she tells her students, you have to sit your butt in a chair and not get up until you’ve written something no matter how long it takes or how terrible it is, and then you have to do that again the next day and the one after that. You may write four or five pages before you get one or two good paragraphs, she says, but keep at it. She encourages her students to reveal their most desperate fears and phobias and bring them to the surface for dissection and reassembly as literary gold.
Unfortunately for Lamott, her worst moments have become her best prose. Take the most horrible school lunch ever and turn it into a brilliant comedic twist of events. Never miss and opportunity to go for your own jugular, but just flash the knife, don’t really cut your throat. In Lamott’s world, writing is therapy and since she’s taken some of the heaviest stuff of her life and exposed it, often with hilarity, to the sun and wind and elements where it can be alchemized, she’s become her own therapist. Or maybe she still needs therapy, but at least there’s a great story to be told. I question whether the pain and suffering is necessary for the craft or whether it just makes the writer more observant -- nothing like fear to sharpen the senses -- and hence, more readily able to translate those observations to the rest of the world. Once you’ve mined your childhood for all the despondency and suffering you can recall along with all the nasty characters that have wreaked havoc upon you, stick them between fictional pages for everyone to see, while being careful to obscure them so ingeniously through changes of place or time or hair color that no one will recognize themselves. Also, always give the male character a small penis. It cuts down on potential libel suits. These are your the tools of the trade, says Lamott. Your heartbreak, your inability to fit in, your desire to be part of another family, relationship, community, etc., one that obviously had it better than yours, and your unlimited ability to manipulate facts. Also, never miss an opportunity to capitalize on all your accumulated crap.
If you are a writer, Bird by Bird will provide you with a step-by-step guide that will boost your writing by degrees, from s***ty first drafts to publication, but my guess is that Bird by Bird will help you with your life maybe just the teeniest bit more.
Top reviews from other countries
gsaidarshanaReviewed in India on October 3, 20255.0 out of 5 stars A must read for writers/beginners/diarist
Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseThe book talks to every person and it befriends every writer. The author Anne Lammot tells her students to plug their nose, jump in, and write. She writes about the fears, the slack, the disinterest, the “am I having cancer or mental illness” phase, all phases a writer can go through to keep at writing on his or her desk. After every chapter I took down points in my notebook.
Apart from addressing writers, the author in her foreword says the book is a narrative of her take on life. A must read book. 📕 It is very interesting, insightful and filled with practical advice.
The book talks to every person and it befriends every writer. The author Anne Lammot tells her students to plug their nose, jump in, and write. She writes about the fears, the slack, the disinterest, the “am I having cancer or mental illness” phase, all phases a writer can go through to keep at writing on his or her desk. After every chapter I took down points in my notebook.5.0 out of 5 stars
gsaidarshanaA must read for writers/beginners/diarist
Reviewed in India on October 3, 2025
Apart from addressing writers, the author in her foreword says the book is a narrative of her take on life. A must read book. 📕 It is very interesting, insightful and filled with practical advice.
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Blanca de HvidstenReviewed in the United Kingdom on August 2, 20155.0 out of 5 stars Why did I not read this before .... Fantastic read!
I love the approach to aspiring writers ... Anne is homest and love the story telling ... Yes we all have a stor. I am reading to write science and is working for me so I am for writing facta and it is taking me trhough a great journey ... Thank you Anne!
César Alejandro Martínez OrtízReviewed in Mexico on October 25, 20205.0 out of 5 stars It's a good book (:
Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseIt's a sincere essay on why we may find it hard to write some times. Sincerity is really valuable in a book on a topic like this, it means that even if you can't relate to everything that's written on it at a literal level, it will connect with you through your feelings as a struggling human being in front of a daunting task, which in this case, is writing something. It's an enjoyable read and by no means it has made me an expert writer, but I'm sure I learnt something and you don't get to say that every day.
Selma in JapanReviewed in Japan on May 9, 20195.0 out of 5 stars Ruthlessly honest
No sugar coating in this one. The author tells it like she sees it. I woke up after reading this book. Thanks for writing it.
A must read if you want to know the truth about being a published author. Selma Martin.
FelipeReviewed in Brazil on February 18, 20195.0 out of 5 stars My notes:
Format: KindleVerified PurchaseSome people wanted to get rich or famous, but my friends and I wanted to get real. We wanted to get deep. (Also, I suppose, we wanted to get laid.)
E. L. Doctorow once said that “writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” You don’t have to see where you’re going, you don’t have to see your destination or everything you will pass along the way. You just have to see two or three feet ahead of you. This is right up there with the best advice about writing, or life, I have ever heard.
Writing can be a pretty desperate endeavor, because it is about some of our deepest needs: our need to be visible, to be heard, our need to make sense of our lives, to wake up and grow and belong. It is no wonder if we sometimes tend to take ourselves perhaps a bit too seriously.
I once asked Ethan Canin to tell me the most valuable thing he knew about writing, and without hesitation he said, “Nothing is as important as a likable narrator. Nothing holds a story together better.”
Another thing: we want a sense that an important character, like a narrator, is reliable. We want to believe that a character is not playing games or being coy or manipulative, but is telling the truth to the best of his or her ability. (Unless a major characteristic of his or hers is coyness or manipulation or lying.) We do not wish to be crudely manipulated. Of course, we enter into a work of fiction to be manipulated, but in a pleasurable way. We want to be massaged by a masseur, not whapped by a carpet beater.
Find out what each character cares most about in the world because then you will have discovered what’s at stake. Find a way to express this discovery in action, and then let your people set about finding or holding onto or defending whatever it is. Then you can take them from good to bad and back again, or from bad to good, or from lost to found. But something must be at stake or you will have no tension and your readers will not turn the pages. Think of a hockey player—there had better be a puck out there on the ice, or he is going to look pretty ridiculous.
I tell my students to write this down—that the dream must be vivid and continuous—because it is so crucial. Outside the classroom, you don’t get to sit next to your readers and explain little things you left out, or fill in details that would have made the action more interesting or believable. The material has got to work on its own, and the dream must be vivid and continuous.
She said that sometimes she uses a formula when writing a short story, which goes ABDCE, for Action, Background, Development, Climax, and Ending.
There are a number of things that help when you sit down to write dialogue. First of all, sound your words—read them out loud.
Second, remember that you should be able to identify each character by what he or she says. Each one must sound different from the others. And they should not all sound like you;
I wish there were an easier, softer way, a shortcut, but this is the nature of most good writing: that you find out things as you go along. Then you go back and rewrite. Remember: no one is reading your first drafts.
I need to digress again for a minute: you create these characters and figure out little by little what they say and do, but this all happens in a part of you to which you have no access—the unconscious. This is where the creating is done. We start out with stock characters, and our unconscious provides us with real, flesh-and-blood, believable people.
The garden is one of the two great metaphors for humanity. The other, of course, is the river. Metaphors are a great language tool, because they explain the unknown in terms of the known. But they only work if they resonate in the heart of the writer.
When you write about your characters, we want to know all about their leaves and colors and growth. But we also want to know who they are when stripped of the surface show. So if you want to get to know your characters, you have to hang out with them long enough to see beyond all the things they aren’t.
you want your readers’ eye-motes to go click! with recognition as they begin to understand one of your characters, but you probably won’t be able to present a character that recognizable if you do not first have self-compassion.
Try looking at your mind as a wayward puppy that you are trying to paper train. You don’t drop-kick a puppy into the neighbor’s yard every time it piddles on the floor. You just keep bringing it back to the newspaper. So I keep trying gently to bring my mind back to what is really there to be seen, maybe to be seen and noted with a kind of reverence. Because if I don’t learn to do this, I think I’ll keep getting things wrong.
If you find that you start a number of stories or pieces that you don’t ever bother finishing, that you lose interest or faith in them along the way, it may be that there is nothing at their center about which you care passionately. You need to put yourself at their center, you and what you believe to be true or right. The core, ethical concepts in which you most passionately believe are the language in which you are writing.
So a moral position is not a message. A moral position is a passionate caring inside you. We are all in danger now and have a new everything to face, and there is no point gathering an audience and demanding its attention unless you have something to say that is important and constructive.
A moral position is not a slogan, or wishful thinking. It doesn’t come from outside or above. It begins inside the heart of a character and grows from there. Tell the truth and write about freedom and fight for it, however you can, and you will be richly rewarded.
You get your confidence and intuition back by trusting yourself, by being militantly on your own side. You need to trust yourself, especially on a first draft, where amid the anxiety and self-doubt, there should be a real sense of your imagination and your memories walking and woolgathering, tramping the hills, romping all over the place.
You get your intuition back when you make space for it, when you stop the chattering of the rational mind. The rational mind doesn’t nourish you. You assume that it gives you the truth, because the rational mind is the golden calf that this culture worships, but this is not true. Rationality squeezes out much that is rich and juicy and fascinating.
“They’re just on loan,” he said. “They’re not ours.” This tape changed how I felt about my students emulating their favorite writers. It helped me see that it is natural to take on someone else’s style, that it’s a prop that you use for a while until you have to give it back.
Truth seems to want expression.
Truth, or reality, or whatever you want to call it is the bedrock of life. A black man at my church who is nearing one hundred thundered last Sunday, “God is your home,” and I pass this on mostly because all of the interesting characters I’ve ever worked with—including myself—have had at their center a feeling of otherness, of homesickness. And it’s wonderful to watch someone finally open that forbidden door that has kept him or her away. What gets exposed is not people’s baseness but their humanity. It turns out that the truth, or reality, is our home.
But you can’t get to any of these truths by sitting in a field smiling beatifically, avoiding your anger and damage and grief. Your anger and damage and grief are the way to the truth. We don’t have much truth to express unless we have gone into those rooms and closets and woods and abysses that we were told not to go in to. When we have gone in and looked around for a long while, just breathing and finally taking it in—then we will be able to speak in our own voice and to stay in the present moment. And that moment is home.
Annie Dillard has said that day by day you have to give the work before you all the best stuff you have, not saving up for later projects. If you give freely, there will always be more. This is a radical proposition that runs so contrary to human nature, or at least to my nature, that I personally keep trying to find loopholes in it.
You are going to have to give and give and give, or there’s no reason for you to be writing. You have to give from the deepest part of yourself, and you are going to have to go on giving, and the giving is going to have to be its own reward. There is no cosmic importance to your getting something published, but there is in learning to be a giver.
But they are always yours, your books as well as your children. You helped bring your work into being, and every day you have to feed it, help it stay well, give it advice and love it when it ignores you. Your three-year-old and your work in progress teach you to give. They teach you to get out of yourself and become a person for someone else. This is probably the secret to happiness. So that’s one reason to write.
“If you’re not enough before the gold medal, you won’t be enough with it.”
Exploring and understanding your childhood will give you the ability to empathize, and that understanding and empathy will teach you to write with intelligence and insight and compassion. Becoming a writer is about becoming conscious. When you’re conscious and writing from a place of insight and simplicity and real caring about the truth, you have the ability to throw the lights on for your reader. He or she will recognize his or her life and truth in what you say, in the pictures you have painted, and this decreases the terrible sense of isolation that we have all had too much of.
Write straight into the emotional center of things. Write toward vulnerability. Don’t worry about appearing sentimental. Worry about being unavailable; worry about being absent or fraudulent. Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it. If you’re a writer, you have a moral obligation to do this. And it is a revolutionary act—truth is always subversive.
Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.
You simply keep putting down one damn word after the other, as you hear them, as they come to you. You can either set brick as a laborer or as an artist. You can make the work a chore, or you can have a good time. You can do it the way you used to clear the dinner dishes when you were thirteen, or you can do it as a Japanese person would perform a tea ceremony, with a level of concentration and care in which you can lose yourself, and so in which you can find yourself.



















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