
At Dark, I Become Loathsome
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Narrated by:
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Andrew Eiden
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By:
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Eric LaRocca
From Eric LaRocca—Bram Stoker Award–nominated and Splatterpunk Award–winning author of Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke—comes At Dark, I Become Loathsome, a grim yet gentle, horrifying yet hopeful, intense tale of death, trauma, and love.
“If you’re reading this, you’ve likely thought that the world would be a better place without you.”
A single line of text, glowing in the darkness of the internet. Written by Ashley Lutin, who has often thought the same—and worse—in the years since his wife died and his young son disappeared. But the peace of the grave is not for him—it’s for those he can help. Ashley has constructed a peculiar ritual for those whose desire to die is at war with their yearning to live a better life.
Struggling to overcome his own endless grief, one night Ashley finds connection with Jinx—a potential candidate for Ashley’s next ritual—who spins a tale both revolting and fascinating. Thus begins a relationship that traps the two men in an ever-tightening spiral of painful revelations, where long-hidden secrets are dragged, kicking and screaming, into the light.
Only through pain can we find healing. Only through death can we find new life.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2025 Eric LaRocca (P)2025 Blackstone PublishingListeners also enjoyed...




















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How many times can you repeat the same sentence!
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If you want to feel weirded out and read about loss, this is it
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However…. The storyline never really comes to fruition. Further into the book I felt, almost annoyed with Ashley’s continuing to be the victim of his circumstances. So much effort Is put into modifications and the life he’s created that it’s a choice to be miserable.
There’s also too many parts that don’t fully line up, or have a tidy conclusion. For example - the excerpts throughout the book, the reports, what are they for?
Ashley choosing to pick the gentleman in the hospital as his final letter? An experience that fleeting?
No answer or final rest for Bailey?
The figures at the end of the book?
I fully applaud the authors disturbed artistry and use of power descriptions, but the book fell flat in many ways. If you’re looking for any depth past graphic sex scenes … I’d suggest skipping this one.
Twisted and delightful, but not quite satisfying
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An intense look at death and grief
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Masterjinx76.. I know it’s dialogue on a computer but Jesus!!
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