Needing other people's approval almost cost me my entire racing career. And the moment you start chasing approval over your own purpose? It's game over! Seeking approval sneaks up on you. As a girl dad, I try to catch it early. For example, I know when one of my daughters is only trying something because they think it will make me proud, instead of because they truly love it themselves. So I try to gently nudge them toward what lights THEM up, not what impresses me. I do this because, if left unchecked, that same instinct can follow you into adulthood. You take the safe option, you know your boss will like. Or you say yes when you really mean no. And one day you realise you've built your whole life around the question "will they approve of this?" instead of "do I actually want this?" I know this feeling well. But I learnt that if I wanted my success to truly mean something, I had to do it for myself! And that's a lesson I rely on every single day now in the business world. Here are 3 things I've learned about building for the right reasons: 👉 Approval is a great feeling, but it can't sustain you! The people who build to impress an investor, a boss, or a room full of people tend to fade the moment the applause (or approval) stops. The best business people I know are the ones building from their OWN conviction. That internal belief is what keeps them going through the long years when nobody is clapping (and there will for sure be those years!). 👉 The best founders I meet don't need the room to agree with them yet. Think about it this way: if the idea was obvious, then everyone would already be building it. You have to believe it before anyone else can. 👉 The real wins are made on the quiet days when no one is watching. In F1, you feel every small thing you did when nobody was there (things like sleep, the preparation, or the marginal gains). Life is the same. Keep showing up. Keep doing the work, and the progress will eventually compound. Have you ever caught yourself chasing approval instead of doing it for yourself? How did you break out of it? Let me know in the comments...
I fully agree, Nico Rosberg. For years my choices were driven by necessity instead of passion. That mindset shifted entirely when I became a father. I realised that merely giving my daughters a comfortable life was not enough. I needed to build a legacy of purpose for them. It took courage to step away from the safe route and finally build what I love. As a girl dad, my mission is to show them how to follow their true calling. Once you know better, you do better. Building from your own conviction is the only way to find real fulfillment.
A really important share Nico Rosberg and thank you for highlighting the issues that come up when you seek external validation. My answer to this is simple but impactful - when you are grounded in your identity and your self validation, you are able to listen to “the noise” but make decisions for yourself that align with who you are and what you want!
Here’s the trap: approval driven success still works. That’s what makes it dangerous. You win, people clap, so you never question the engine. The problem shows up later the wins feel empty, and every decision gets slower because it has to pass through “what will they think?” first. The fix isn’t caring less. It’s knowing what you’d still build if nobody was watching.
Nico, this is a powerful perspective on internal drive, but I'd offer a slightly different angle: seeking approval isn't always the enemy of conviction—it’s often the very foundation of it. First, true conviction doesn't appear out of thin air; it is surely formed from the values we learn while seeking approval. Early on, trying to impress mentors or bosses is how we learn discipline and master our craft. The internal belief you rely on today was likely built on a work ethic acquired when someone was grading you. Approval-seeking is the vital training ground where we discover what serves us and forge our authentic purpose. Secondly, I’d challenge the idea that chasing approval is "game over." While independent conviction is a necessity for founders, a massive proportion of society works to gain a manager's or client's approval and get paid. Taking the safe option to provide for a family and earn a reliable living isn't a failure of purpose; it's an honourable reality. Approval gets a bad reputation, but it’s the scaffolding that helps us build our lives. Whether used to launch a groundbreaking business or sustain a fulfilling career, neither is "game over"—both are valid ways of winning.
Seeking approval of others certainly played an important role in my coming-of-age and as a young adult. In my career, I was lucky (and I really mean it) to work in a toxic culture very early. I met a few a***les holding top management jobs which removed any respect for mere position, hence any desire for approval from these people. Years later, I used a small window of opportunity and initiated a full relaunch of the car brand Škoda. I loved it, and while I needed formal approval here and then, I only followed my instinct. 🤔 I love your thoughts yet I would like to add a reverse perspective. It’s essential than we believe an idea ourselves. And it’s crucial that we believe IN ourselves, in our abilities and skills. Nevertheless things tend to be easier when we have ONE other person who also believes in us. More is better but one is fine. When you know that someone else also believes in you, it can free unhinged energy. I’ve been experiencing this lately as an adult, and it’s even more important that we believe in children and young people seeking their place in the world.
This is such a real parenting and leadership lesson. The goal isn’t to make approval wrong. It’s to help people stay connected to themselves strongly enough that approval becomes feedback, not fuel.
Brilliant post Nico, I think as human beings seeking approval of others is built into us because we have an in built desire to be liked. Being your own person backing yourself & your own ideas takes strength of character plus a mindset change. The successful people in the world learn to do this but it takes practice & character to challenge those who don’t agree & courage to stick to the plan.
This resonates very well. What do you love doing but nobody understands your purpuse behind?! It can be irritating. But when they see how you thrive they don´t need to understand anymore. When I played rugby I was on fire - and my mom kept saying: "I still don´t understand why you love it, but I support you anyay!" The same goes with running today. No approval needed just the support. Well done on seeing such essentail details with you daughters.
Nico Rosberg, the line about building from conviction really stood out, because approval comes and goes, but conviction is what keeps you moving when the results haven't shown up yet. Great lesson for business, leadership, and life.
Nico, the shift from seeking approval to building from conviction is one of the hardest, but potentially liberating, transitions in any leader's journey, leader of your life. The room rarely claps on the quiet days. But that's exactly when the real work compounds.