How to Respond Professionally in Difficult Conversations

Let’s be real. Not every conversation you have will be smooth sailing. You’ve probably been there—someone catches you completely off guard with a comment that feels like a subtle dig… or maybe not so subtle. It might come across as sarcastic or even insulting. Your first instinct might be to get defensive or shut down. But if you want to maintain your front-row presence, here’s your power move: Pause. Breathe. Ask a Question. When you feel that sting of a potentially insulting comment, here’s what I want you to do: Don’t react — respond instead, after taking a pause Take a deep breath — literally. This will instantly calm your nervous system.  Ask a clarifying question.  One of these works beautifully:  “That sounded like a dig—was that your intent?”  “That came across as sarcastic—was that what you meant?”  “That sounded like an insult, was that your intent?” Don’t ask all three. Pick one. And ask it calmly, curiously, and without sarcasm of your own. This simple, assertive question flips the energy. It puts the ball in their court. Now, they’re the one who has to explain, clarify, or walk it back. Why This Works:  You’re divesting emotionally from the interaction. Instead of taking it personally, you’re gathering information.   You’re showing up as a confident, credible communicator, not someone who gets rattled.   You’re giving yourself time to process, reflect, and respond instead of reacting.  Bonus Tip: Ask Them to Repeat It (The Right Way) Sometimes a comment hits you so hard or fast that you’re just… stunned. You have no words. That’s okay. You can always say: “I didn’t quite catch that—can you say it again?” Say it from a place of genuine inquiry, not aggression. There’s a big difference between calmly saying, “Can you repeat that?” and flaring up with “Oh really? Say that again.” Front-Row Takeaway: Difficult conversations will happen. But you can choose to meet them with calm composure.  Keep your front-row seat by:  Taking a breath  Asking for clarity  Staying curious, not combative Because in the end, your confidence, your composure, and your credibility are always within your control. Here’s to holding your power, one breath at a time. See you in the front-row.

You do it. I’ve done it.  We need to stop. Last year, I was doing some self-reflection. I wanted to improve my conversations. The answer came, "Stop being defensive." Wait, what? I did not feel like I was? I looked a bit closer and started to see opportunity to change and get better. You’ve seen the sign but ignore it. Warning: “Do Not Escalate” Why do your conversations sometimes go sidewise? Let's talk about the art of staying grounded. Why does the choice not to be defensive matter? I’m not talking about the stomp-your-foot talk or the angry and strong response talk. → I’m talking about the subtle defensiveness we all do.  It can often start with an innocent response. You share an idea, a thought, a help, and it lands wrong.  → We want to straighten it out.  → Correct them, if you will.  Watch out for that. Maybe, don’t do that.  Here's what you don't need: 1. Communication that unnecessarily escalates conflicts. 2. A mindset that blocks understanding and empathy. 3. An attitude that damages relationships over time. Three Stop Signs You Should Heed: 1. Stop defending every stance you hold.  2. Stop letting defensiveness hinder your communication.  3. Stop allowing defensiveness to strain your relationships.  Choosing not to defend every stance will transform conflicts into conversations. → It's about picking your battles wisely. Want to let go of being defensive? Here's what you do need: 1. Openness to listen without immediate judgment. 2. Patience to let the moment pass and respond when the time is right. 3. Courage to address misunderstandings with clarity, perhaps later. Embrace the Power of Pause: → Give space for dialogue to flourish. → Allow empathy to bridge gaps. Benefits Await: → Discover a new level of dialogue that fosters understanding. → Build stronger, more resilient personal and professional bonds. → Encourage an environment where growth and learning are nurtured. Three Action Steps to Non-Defensive Communication: Practice active listening. → Hear the message, not just the words. 2. Reflect before you react. → Is this a moment for silence or speech? 3. Choose clarity over confrontation. → Seek to understand, then to be understood. How do you keep yourself from being defensive? Like this content? Ring the 🔔 to Follow ♻️ Repost to share

Starting a difficult conversation at work can feel really intimidating and overwhelming. You know it’s necessary, but where do you even begin without causing more issues? 🤔 Thing is, having these conversations is crucial for a healthy workplace. As much as you may want to avoid them, we need them. The good news is, there are ways we can navigate these conversations in a healthy and productive way. So, here are tips to initiate challenging convos: 🎯 Prepare yourself. Before diving in, take some deep breaths to calm your nervous system and a moment to reflect on your goals for the conversation. What is your intention and the ideal outcome? What other ways could this turn out? How can you cope with an outcome that is different from your vision? Going in with a level of clarity in your own mind can lead to a more focused and effective discussion. 🕒 Choose the right time and place. Timing is everything. Find a private, neutral setting where both parties feel comfortable and are less likely to be interrupted. 🗣️ Be clear and direct. Clearly and calmly state the issue but do so with respect and understanding. This can help lower guards and reduce misunderstandings. 🤝 Focus on solutions. Approach the conversation with a solution-oriented mindset instead of just showing up with more problems to call out. I always like to have some ideas of my own and make sure I open the door to hear theirs as well. When you can listen actively to their side, rather than pointing fingers, it encourages a more productive and less defensive dialogue. 🌱 Follow up. After the conversation, check in with the other person. This can help show you’re committed to ongoing support and resolving the issue together. Difficult conversations are part of growth personally and professionally and help us to create a psychologically safe workplace. By approaching them thoughtfully, we can turn challenges into opportunities for understanding and collaboration. 👇 Have you had to start a tough conversation at work? How did you approach it? Share your experiences and tips! Creating norms around difficult conversations tends to come up in our Psychological Safety training programs. DM me to learn more! 🖤 Create a great day! #MakoMindfulness #MindfulnessTraining #StressManagement #PsychologicalSafety #TrainingAndDevelopment #StaffDevelopment

EMOTIONAL IQ > This week before you respond to an email, phone call, or not so pleasant situation, be careful on being so reactionary. When you receive an unpleasant email, it’s always a good practice when you write an email response, to NOT hit send. Come back to it. You will often read the email and say to yourself, what was I thinking responding like this. You can then send a much calmer and more appropriate response later. Or when you receive an unpleasant voicemail, do not respond with a phone call right away. Give yourself time to collect your thoughts and then respond later when you can have a much calmer and intelligent conversation. We need to be giving greater emphasis to the importance of how we respond to the emotion’s communication can trigger. A step back can be one of the most helpful decisions you can make. It is always good to hit pause since it helps you compose your thoughts and brings you into the present moment. For interactions with people, just hold off and listen. There’s no rule that you have to say anything immediately. Notice the thoughts that go through your mind and simply observe them without attachment. Where possible don’t feel you need to respond immediately as it can be very important to give yourself time. In other words, WAIT before responding to work out what needs to be considered most in making important decisions. This does not show weakness but can be an important opportunity for working out what needs to be given priority in decision-making which is not always what our emotions can trigger in us. Embrace a 10 second rule. Whenever the temperature in a conversation starts to go up, pause for 10 seconds before you respond. That's it--just stop and wait. In almost every situation where a conversation is getting out of hand, the 10-second rule can help diffuse your emotions and refocus on the people and your purpose. You'll be surprised how much time 10 seconds really is in terms of giving you a chance to collect your emotions and your thoughts. You might be even more surprised to discover how effective it is at getting a conversation back on track. The ability to not react when provoked is a superpower. It saves energy, lives, and preserves relationships. Afterall, showing your emotions in an email or during a conversation is like bleeding in front of a shark. It’s not going to turn out well for you. Your ability to communicate effectively is your most critical skill. More so as a manager or leader…your ability to produce results as a leader is constrained directly by your ability to communicate with your team, peers, and superiors. You cannot see your reflection in boiling water. Similarly, you cannot see the truth in a state of anger. When the waters calm, clarity comes. Cheers! JR