Tips for Navigating Difficult Feedback Conversations

One of the toughest tests of your leadership isn't how you handle success. It's how you navigate disagreement. I noticed this in the SEAL Teams and in my work with executives: Those who master difficult conversations outperform their peers not just in team satisfaction, but in decision quality and innovation. The problem? Most of us enter difficult conversations with our nervous system already in a threat state. Our brain literally can't access its best thinking when flooded with stress hormones. Through years of working with high-performing teams, I've developed what I call The Mindful Disagreement Framework. Here's how it works: 1. Pause Before Engaging (10 seconds) When triggered by disagreement, take a deliberate breath. This small reset activates your prefrontal cortex instead of your reactive limbic system. Your brain physically needs this transition to think clearly. 2. Set Psychological Safety (30 seconds) Start with: "I appreciate your perspective and want to understand it better. I also have some different thoughts to share." This simple opener signals respect while creating space for different viewpoints. 3. Lead with Curiosity, Not Certainty (2 minutes) Ask at least three questions before stating your position. This practice significantly increases the quality of solutions because it broadens your understanding before narrowing toward decisions. 4. Name the Shared Purpose (1 minute) "We both want [shared goal]. We're just seeing different paths to get there." This reminds everyone you're on the same team, even with different perspectives. 5. Separate Impact from Intent (30 seconds) "When X happened, I felt Y, because Z. I know that wasn't your intention." This formula transforms accusations into observations. Last month, I used this exact framework in a disagreement. The conversation that could have damaged our relationship instead strengthened it. Not because we ended up agreeing, but because we disagreed respectfully. (It may or may not have been with my kid!) The most valuable disagreements often feel uncomfortable. The goal isn't comfort. It's growth. What difficult conversation are you avoiding right now? Try this framework tomorrow and watch what happens to your leadership influence. ___ Follow me, Jon Macaskill for more leadership focused content. And feel free to repost if someone in your life needs to hear this. 📩 Subscribe to my newsletter here → https://lnkd.in/g9ZFxDJG You'll get FREE access to my 21-Day Mindfulness & Meditation Course packed with real, actionable strategies to lead with clarity, resilience, and purpose.

Most leaders avoid feedback conversations because they fear what might break. But what if the real risk is what you'll never build? According to Gallup, 80% of employees who receive meaningful feedback on a weekly basis are fully engaged (2019). Yet 37% of leaders admit they're uncomfortable giving feedback to their teams. That silence isn't kindness. It's career sabotage. I discovered this while coaching a brilliant VP who avoided giving feedback for 6 months. His reasoning? "I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings." Meanwhile, his team was stuck in a loop of repeated mistakes, missed growth, and mounting frustration. The quiet cost of silence was crushing their potential. The truth? Feedback delayed is development denied. Here's the T.R.U.S.T.™ Feedback Framework I teach my executive clients: 1/ Time it right → 60% of employees want feedback weekly → But 39% wait over three months to hear anything → Create a rhythm, not just reactions to problems 2/ Real, not rehearsed → "In yesterday's client call, I noticed..." → Specific moments create specific growth → Vague praise and vague criticism both waste time 3/ Understand the person → Different team members need different approaches → Some need direct words, others need gentle questions → Personalize delivery, not just content 4/ Safe to receive → Ask "What support do you need with this?" → Make feedback a conversation, not a verdict → This transforms defensiveness into development 5/ Two-way street → End with "What feedback do you have for me?" → Your willingness to receive transforms your right to give → This builds feedback culture, not just compliance The most powerful leaders build teams where truth flows freely in all directions. Because when feedback feels like genuine care, not criticism, performance soars. What feedback conversation have you been avoiding that could unlock someone's potential? 📌 Save this framework for your next growth conversation ➕ Follow Loren Rosario - Maldonado, PCC for human leadership

🔥 Radical leaders don't avoid difficult conversations. They transform them. The most courageous act in leadership? Not the big presentation. Not the tough budget call. Not the strategic pivot. It's sitting across from someone and speaking truth with kindness when every instinct tells you to run. I've coached C-suite leaders who'd rather resign than have a five-minute conversation about performance. I've lived this personally. The conversations I feared most became the moments that defined my leadership. Truth: Psychological safety isn't built on avoiding hard truths. It is built on how we deliver them. 3 principles that transform difficult conversations: 1️⃣ Lead with curiosity, not conclusion. "I noticed X and I'm curious about what's happening" opens doors that "You did X wrong" slams shut. This works across differences. When we're curious, we create belonging. 2️⃣ Honor the whole human. Before addressing what someone did, acknowledge who they are. The most inclusive teams remember: Performance is just one dimension of a multidimensional human. 3️⃣ Make it safe to be uncomfortable. The best leaders don't minimize tension. They normalize it. "This conversation might feel uncomfortable, and that's okay. We'll navigate it together." Your team isn't waiting for a perfect leader. They're waiting for a real one. 👇 What difficult conversation are you avoiding right now? What might be possible if you transformed it instead? In Community and Conversation, 🧡 Jim P.S. My August calendar for "Courageous Conversations" has three spots remaining for leaders ready to build truly inclusive teams. Message me for details. Book an introductory meeting at the link in my Bio.

I struggled with difficult conversations. Oftentimes, outright avoiding them. It's not something that I was taught or modeled growing up. So it's been a journey. With intentional work and a desire to learn, I have gotten better. In fact, I am much better. These are some of the hallmarks that help me navigate difficult conversations. While things do not always go as planned, I view these principles as flotation devices that I use when I'm in rough waters. In this carousel, I share 7 tips, highlighting what to avoid and what to keep in mind. 1. Prepare with purpose & empathy 2. Start off with psychological safety 3. Share observable & specific behaviors 4. Name the impact & emotions 5. Invite their perspective 6. Co-create next steps 7. Reaffirm the relationship Even for people comfortable with difficult conversations, it does not mean they are skilled. Hopefully, this resource helps you along your journey. What's one hallmark you rely on when navigating difficult conversations? Share it below! *** ♻️ Re-post or share so others can lead more effectively 🔔 Turn on notifications for daily posts 🤓 Follow me at Scott J. Allen, Ph.D. for daily content on leadership 📌 Design by Bela Jevtovic

Please, for the love of your reputation, stop saying this at the beginning of difficult conversations. I mean it! Promise me you will never again say: “Can I give you some feedback?” or any of it's cousins, like, "Can I offer some coaching?" @DavidRock, the father of #Neuroleadership, likens that phrase to ‘hearing footsteps behind you in a dark alley.’ 😱 When you say it, you instantly put their brain into a ‘threat’ state. (If you enjoy putting people into a threat state, you have a bigger problem!) Depending on their personality, their next move will be fight, flee, or freeze. You’ve doomed the conversation before they spoke a word.💣 You've backed them into a corner. You’ve given them two choices: 1. Say, “No, thank you.” (With a dose of passive-aggressive snarky energy), or 2. Sit silently as you describe something you disapprove of...😡 With one sentence, you've just told your conversation partner that you are not a safe person to talk with. If you’ve been taught to start feedback conversations this way, I’m not surprised. Much of what we were taught pre-dates the integration of brain science and influence. I ONLY teach techniques that help you do two things every time: • Feel calm & curious before any ‘difficult’ conversation • Speak and respond in a way that maintains or improves your relationship and reputation Here is one brain-safe way to start a corrective feedback conversation with ANYONE: “Hi, I’d love to connect about that meeting this morning with the development team. We probably need just 15 mins or so. What time works best for you today?” Then you prepare. Between now and that conversation, you fill out a short 5-step template to help you organize your thoughts, so you can say all you need to say in less than 45 seconds, then turn it over to them. Writing down your thoughts ahead of time helps you avoid trigger words and closed-ended questions… or anything else that could sabotage the conversation and sour your relationships. The best teams are led by leaders who create #PsychologicalSafety. What’s your biggest fear or pet peeve about giving or receiving corrective feedback? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm a certified Executive Coach who transforms brilliant but overwhelmed ‘Worker-Bees’ into influential ‘Queen-Bees’ who earn more, work less, and finally enjoy success and ease in all parts of their lives. Find my featured section for: • A free Influence the Boss eBook • Client success stories • Link to a free masterclass for female leaders who want to work & stress less and more 💰 If you’re tired of doing your best, but having it backfire on you, and are ready to unf*ck your career now, book a call to see if my program can help you: https://calendly(dot)com/denisegreen/book