Tips for Positive Reframing in Difficult Situations

Three hacks I recommend to my executive coaching clients before they go into a challenging conversation: 1️⃣ Ground in your values before you go into the conversation. Write down three words to answer this question: "How do I want to be perceived by the person I'm talking with today?" This is a fast way to check that your planned behavior aligns with your values. 2️⃣ Get curious. Google the "Ted Lasso get curious scene" if you need inspiration. Many times, conflict happens because two people simply aren't seeing each other. They get so stuck in their own perspective, fears, and hurt that they aren't able to see the other person's viewpoint. Go into the conversation with the intention of asking questions to better understand the person across from you. 3️⃣ Reflect the other person's perspective. Even if you disagree with someone, you can always make them feel heard. You can listen to them and "reflect" back what you hear them saying. Say: "Here's what I hear you saying. {Summarize in your own words.} Am I getting that right?" Reflecting allows us to help another person feel heard, and then you can present your own alternative opinion on the topic. We're always going to bump with other people inside our work lives and personal lives. We're all different humans with different perspectives, values, ideas, motivations, fears, joys, and needs. When we're different, we will naturally bump into others. Our goal isn't to prevent friction. Our goal is to make friction a useful tool for productive conversation. As long as we can see each other, we can move forward together. We can turn conflict into a trust-breaker into a trust-maker. I want to know from you, LinkedIn friends: How do you prepare for a challenging conversation with someone?

How Can  Reframing Change Your Perspective? Reframing is about taking control of your mental narrative and transforming it into a tool for growth and resilience. Here are some examples: Shifting from Catastrophic Thinking to Balanced Thinking: Original Thought: "If I lose this case, it will ruin my career." Reframed Thought: "Losing this case might be disappointing, but it won’t ruin my career. I’ve faced setbacks before and learned from them." Impact: This shift in perspective not only reduces the fear of catastrophic outcomes, but also enhances your ability to see the situation more balanced. It equips you with a calmer, more focused mindset, thereby elevating your performance. Turning Fear into Motivation: Original Thought: "I'm terrified of speaking in court because I might make a mistake." Reframed Thought: "Feeling nervous is natural, but it shows that I care about doing a good job. I can use this energy to prepare thoroughly and perform well." Impact: Reframing fear as a sign of motivation rather than a hindrance can transform nervous energy into productive preparation. This positive spin on fear can lead to enhanced confidence and readiness.  Viewing Challenges as Learning Opportunities: Original Thought: "I’m afraid of taking on this difficult case because I might not know enough to handle it well." Reframed Thought: "This challenging case is an opportunity to learn and grow as a lawyer. Every case, especially the tough ones, teaches me something new." Impact: By viewing difficult situations as opportunities for growth rather than threats, you reduce the fear associated with them. This mindset encourages continuous learning and professional development. Reframing Mistakes as Steps Toward Success: Original Thought: "Making a mistake in this brief will show that I'm incompetent." Reframed Thought: "Mistakes are part of the learning process. Each error I make helps me improve and become a better lawyer." Impact: This perspective helps mitigate the fear of making mistakes by viewing them as necessary steps toward improvement. It fosters a growth mindset, where setbacks are seen as integral to success. What are some examples of how you use reframing? #reframing #mindset #lawyers #thefreelawyer