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Introduction
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The Great Relationship Reset
What 5,000 Singles Taught Us About Connection
Burnout, emotional gaps, and rising expectations have pushed dating to a breaking point ... and now it’s time for a relationship reset. Today’s singles are ditching the old scripts, stepping back to refresh themselves, doubling down on emotional intelligence, and rewriting the rulebook of dating.
Scroll on for insights, or skip ahead to the section that speaks to your dating reality. Whether you’re spicy, celibate, overwhelmed, or optimistic…there’s something here for you.
Summary
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State of Singles: Who are the people
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Relationship Goals: What’s their ideal of love
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Missed Connections: What’s in need of a reset
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The Reset: What’s changing
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The Playbook: Practical strategies for connection
State of Singles
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State of Singles
Let’s get into the who, what, why, and “how are you still single?!” by breaking down data on the singles themselves. We’ll dive into the demographics and examine dating habits, expectations, and beliefs of singles in America.
Seriously Ready
for Love
Nearly half of singles feel ready for a long-term
relationship and are putting love near the top of
their priorities.
46% of singles are ready for a long-term relationship.
Breaking Up With Single Stigma
With less judgment from society, singles are pursuing relationships for themselves, not to avoid stigma.
Lessons in Chemistry
Sexual compatibility is still top of mind for singles, so if the sparks don’t fly, they’ll likely say goodbye.
Dateflation
Singles are spending an arm and a leg trying to find someone to share their heart with on dates.
The average single spends $213 per month on dating, while active daters spend $310.
This is a significant increase from $188 in 2022 and $112 in 2013, making dating more expensive than ever.
Men vs. Women Dating Expenses
Men spend more overall than women on dating-related expenses.
- The biggest gap is in in-person dating activities, where men spend $97.21/month compared to women's $40.36.
- Men also spend more on finding dates ($29.03 vs. $13.95) and date-night clothes/accessories ($76.08 vs. $51.40).
- However, when it comes to grooming and appearance, spending is nearly equal ($61.22 for men vs. $59.46 for women).
Rising Tempers, Guarded Profiles
Singles overwhelmingly agree that there’s more risk of anger when you reject a potential partner and less authenticity displayed in dating profiles that makes it harder to find alignment in matches.
"It’s not a lack of interest—
it’s a lack of alignment."
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Mind the 
Age Gap
When it comes to age-gap relationships, many singles have ventured outside their generation…there are pros and cons to both.
- Pros
The Perks of
Dating Younger - 47% say the physical chemistry was undeniable.
- 41% say they were more sexually attractive.
- 31% loved that their sex drive was a match.
- Cons
The Challenges of
Dating Younger - 30% cited different outlooks on life.
- 27% say they were less emotionally mature than I was.
- 21% say fitting into their social circle was difficult.
25% have dated someone 10+ years younger. (Men 32% vs. Women 19%)
- Pros
The Perks of
Dating Older - 34% appreciated the financial stability.
- 36% valued their emotional maturity.
- 31% felt cared for in the relationship.
- Cons
The Challenges of
Dating Older - 26% struggled with different life outlooks.
- 19% found it tough to fit into their social circle.
- 10% said their older partner was less emotionally mature than they expected.
34% have dated someone 10+ years older. (Men 30% vs. Women 38%)
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Dating as a Team Sport
From family and friends to internet influencers, singles are seeking relationship counsel anywhere they can get it, yet some choose to figure it out solo.
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Active daters (81%) are far more likely to seek guidance than inactive daters (51%), proving that those in the dating scene are looking for support.
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42% turn to friends for dating advice, but 33% don’t seek any advice at all.
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Gen Z is most likely to ask their mom or siblings (25%), showing a shift in who younger singles trust.
The Generation Wars…
Ages 18-27
Ages 28-43
Ages 44-59
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Gen Z:
The Neo-Traditionalists
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69% say they’re not ready for a relationship, yet many express a desire for one.
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Gen Z is the most likely to be intentionally celibate (30%), signaling a move away from hookup culture.
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49% of Gen Z has used AI for dating, more than any other generation.
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Gen Z is the most sexually conservative generation, with 29% saying sex should only happen after a committed relationship.
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50% have sex at least once a month, up from 40% last year, indicating they may be moving past the "sex recession."
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Millennials:
The Romantic Adventurers
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64% want a committed relationship, but 39% are open to casual dating.
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52% feel behind in their life goals, particularly in marriage and children.
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Spend an average of $289/month on dating, a sharp increase from past years.
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Millennials are the most sexually active generation, with more than half reporting they have sex at least once a month.
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50% of Millennials say they are "bored of vanilla sex," the highest among any age group.
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Millennials use dating apps the most (52%), and they are most likely to use multiple dating strategies (apps, social events, and matchmaking).
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Gen X:
The Resilient Generation
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Gen X is the most likely to feel behind in life goals (55%), especially regarding relationships.
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48% have been divorced, contributing to their feelings of being off track.
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They are more accepting of traditional gender roles (27%), compared to just 20% of Boomers.
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They use dating apps far less than Millennials or Gen Z, preferring in-person meetings or introductions through friends.
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They are the least likely to use AI for dating advice (only 15%), yet they show growing interest in AI matchmaking.
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Who's the
Horniest
Generation?
Boomers:
The Big Chill(32%) Boomers are officially the least horny generation. Less than 1 in 5 women in this age range are feeling the heat.
Gen X:
Lukewarm Lust(49%) Xers are split down the middle on horniness and like Boomers there’s a large gap between men and women.
Gen Z:
Getting Warmer(56%) Youth doesn’t take the cake on heat! The gender gap is smallest for Gen Z, so men and women are more likely to be on the same page when it comes to sex.
Millennials:
Peak Spicy(62%) Millennials take home the participation trophy for having the most sex of any generation and have highest horniest levels to match.
Relationship Goals
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Relationship Goals
Move over, DTF. The LTR (Long-Term Relationship) is gaining ground in the dating landscape. Scroll to unpack how we’re shifting from hookup culture to heart-to-heart connections.
Romantic thinking is on the rise.
More and more singles are getting romantic about dating again, literally, putting renewed faith in old-fashioned ideas of fated matches and that forever kind of love.
60% believe in love at first sight
Quite the uptick from 34% in 2014 with 47% claiming to have experienced it firsthand (more men than women).
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73% believe romantic love can last forever.
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69% believe in destiny.
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60% identify as romantic (men 63%, women 58%).
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Commitment Philia
The “define the relationship” talk isn’t so taboo these days. In fact, over half of all singles want a steady someone they can call their own.
62% of seekers want a committed, exclusive relationship.
- (67% women vs. 59% men, and 65% Gen Z)
- 47% want sex within a committed, monogamous relationship.
Marriage? Yes.
Kids? Maybe.
Wedding bells are in the air, but baby fever isn’t quite as contagious in 2025.
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Gen Z (68%) and Millennials (62%) are most interested in marriage.
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49% of Gen Z say they want children in the future, which is lower than past generations at the same age.
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Values Are Highly Valued
Values Are Highly Valued
Most daters are eager to speed through the small talk and get to the big chats about life.
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71% say core values should be discussed in the first few dates.
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35% list "shared core values" as a top three quality in a partner.
The Relationship Wishlist (and the Deal-Breakers)
The Relationship Wishlist (and the Deal-Breakers)
Unsurprisingly, being caring, hot, and compatible are still traits in high demand. For the less mature and less trustworthy singles, dating is an uphill battle.
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Top traits singles seek:
- Kindness & empathy (48%)
- Physical attraction (39%)
- Shared values (35%)
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Deal-breakers:
- Dishonesty (83%)
- Emotional unavailability (67%)
- Lack of attraction (61%)
- Non-monogamy (60%)
Missed Connections
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Missed Connections
Now that we know who’s single and looking, and what exactly they’re looking for, let’s unpack a few of the obstacles standing between them and their ideal relationship.
The two culprits? A gender divide and shaky role models in media leave singles adrift.
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Burnout baby, burn.
There does come a point where even the “tried-and-true approaches” catch up with social fatigue and monotony.
53% of singles report dating burnout.
The Growing Gender Gap
The ever-expanding gender gap is only causing more divide and distance.
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70% of singles believe the gender gap is widening.
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80% of Gen Z believe the gender gap is widening.
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You’re Just Not My Stereotype
Which fuels preconceived impressions, further slimming down the dating pool.
85% say stereotypes affect their dating life.
Men feel misjudged as commitment-phobic (25%), emotionally unaware (23%), or sex-obsessed (33%).
vs.
Women feel misjudged as seeking providers (25%) or uninterested in commitment (23%).
In reaction to those misconceptions…
Without a true North Star, dating hopefuls are taking it upon themselves on how to position themselves through these evolving norms.
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Biggest Misses:
Singles face major misses when it comes to communication and expectations for both emotional availability and relationship goals.
- 43% say expectations for casual vs. serious relationships are misaligned.
- 41% say communication styles cause confusion.
- 39% note differences in emotional availability.
Mapping Modern Masculinity
Society is struggling with approaching modern masculinity, leaving a lot more pressure on individuals to judge and perform masculinity.
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Do men believe they model healthy masculinity?
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63% say yes (70% of active daters), while 23% are unsure.
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Of those who think they model healthy masculinity, 43% turn to friends for advice.
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Top traits of healthy masculinity:
34% say kindness and empathy.
29% value emotional intelligence and openness.
29% prioritize humility and willingness to admit mistakes.
79% of women say they can identify healthy or toxic masculinity within the first few dates.
Gender Roles Up in the Air
And current relationship dynamics are still in a bit of an ambiguous state, making it harder for people to know what the other is looking for early on.
- 46% Prefer Modern/Flexible Roles
- 27% Prefer Traditional Roles
- 27% Prefer Neutral Roles
Result
More passivity in making the first move
63% say this has increased, especially Gen Z (72%).
Romantic Delusions From Media
Mainstream media has had a huge impact on dating standards and expectations by serving daters a catalog of unrealistic soulmate archetypes.
Pop (culture) quiz time!
How well do you know singles? Let’s test your knowledge, but don’t worry! Like two people who are just looking for a FWB, this isn’t serious. We’re not keeping score.
Scroll to get started...
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Lights! Camera! No action!
What percentage of singles believe romantic media is making it harder for them to date?
Scroll for your answer...
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Answer:
41% believe romantic media has set unrealistic expectations for love. Looking at you, rom-coms.
Next Question...
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To be, or not meant to be?
What percentage of singles believe in soulmates?
Scroll for your answer...
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Answer:
51% think there is one perfect match out there for them. Romantic? Totally. Realistic? Maybe…
Next Question...
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Happily (n)ever after
What percentage of singles think there’s a fairytale ending to their love story?
Scroll for your answer...
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Answer:
43% believe they'll find a picture-perfect romantic relationship.
Next Question...
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The never-go-to-bed-angry policy
What percentage of singles think romantic media makes people believe conflict-free relationships exist?
Scroll for your answer...
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Answer:
29% think their relationship is destined to be all sunshine and rainbows.
May their honeymoon phases never end, until they have to shop for furniture together…
Next Question...
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All you need is love. Maybe.
What percentage of singles believe romantic media helps set the standard that love is a lasting source of lifelong fulfillment?
Scroll for your answer...
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Answer:
37% think love is something they can build their purpose and happiness around in the long run.
Recap...
Encore!
- 42% One Perfect Soulmate
- 43% Happily Ever After
- 29% Conflict-Free Relationships
- 37% Love as a Source of Lifelong Fulfillment
Passing Down Broken Love Languages
When in doubt, we can always turn to our parents. Or can we?
The Case of the Missing Role Model
The results? Many daters not knowing what their end goal even is.
The Reset
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The Reset
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution to give hope back to the hopeless romantics out there. Scroll to learn how singles have been taking steps, and sometimes steps all the way back, to find joy in dating again.
Recharging After Burnout
Sometimes the best cure for burnout is to simply hop off the dating carousel to take a moment for yourself.
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53% of singles report dating burnout
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46% took breaks to recharge
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25% sought out advice from friends/therapists
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16% updated their strategy (vs. quitting).
Self Improvement as Self-Care
Singles are increasingly working on making themselves into Mr. or Mrs. Right instead of just searching for them.
46% shifted focus to self-improvement
Leveling-up goals:
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want to get fitter/healthier. -
prioritize mental wellness. -
want to travel more. -
want to become debt-free or lose weight. -
prioritize appearance/hygiene as part of readiness.
Strategically Intentional
For many daters taking a break from the dating game helped them get clearer on what they’re looking for in a relationship. Other singles are opting to change up their approach instead of totally stepping out.
Celibacy is another reset toward intentional dating.
Looking after yourself comes in different forms, and being voluntarily celibate is definitely having a hot moment.
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36% haven’t had sex in the past year.
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33% say celibacy improved their dating life.
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36% are choosing celibacy (52% of Boomers, 30% of Gen Z).
Spicy is the new normal.
For those who are indulging in sex, what’s “normal” in the bedroom is increasingly adventurous.
- 64% of Gen Z say a partner being content with "vanilla" sex is a deal-breaker (highest of any generations).
- 50% of Millennials say they are "bored of vanilla sex," (highest of any generations).
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52% say plain sex is a deal-breaker.
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64% of Gen Z want more adventurous experiences.
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Porn use and attitudes around it are becoming a dating factor (e.g., 56% say it creates unrealistic expectations).
Dating smarter, not harder, with help from AI
While the jury is still out on what exactly counts as cheating with AI partners, most are using AI to help make the search for a human mate a little simpler.
- 16% have interacted with AI as a romantic companion (33% Gen Z, 23% Millennials).
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26% use AI in dating (Gen Z – 49%)
- 11% for profiles, 10% for first messages
- 44% want AI to help filter matches
- 26% say AI made dating easier
- 40% say having an AI boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating.
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The Playbook
Ready to reset?
Here’s the Balanced Dating Workout for
Making Real Connections.
Build Your Four Core Strengths for Dating Success
Self-Care
Put your best face forward by improving your hygiene, personal style, health and overall confidence.
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01
Invest in a grooming/hygiene routine: hair, skincare, fresh outfit, fitness.
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02
Keep expectations realistic—see dating as a process, not a perfect science.
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03
Work on your body language (smile, eye contact, open posture).
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of singles focus on hygiene and appearance to improve their dating success.
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say self-esteem is tied to appearance.
See & Be Seen
Cultivate a healthy mix of mingling approaches (both online and offline) where singles gather
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01
Spend 15-30 minutes daily engaging on a dating app.
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02
Say "yes" to social invites, even if it's a casual gathering or event.
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03
Visit places where people naturally socialize.
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of singles use dating apps.
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frequent social spots.
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attend social events.
Skills
Strengthen your listening and conversation skills to get clear on your expectations and intentions.
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01
Initiate small talk at least once per day (barista, coworker, stranger in line, gym buddy).
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02
Practice active listening—ask one follow-up question in every interaction.
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03
Be upfront about what you want when connecting with new people.
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of singles engage in everyday conversations.
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practice active listening.
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prioritize clear intentions.
Support System
Reflect, learn, strategize and talk it out with people who already know and love you.
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01
Check in with a trusted friend about your dating approach once a week.
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02
Let friends and family know you're open to introductions—social proof matters.
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03
Reflect on past dates: What worked? What didn’t? Adjust accordingly.
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turn to friends for advice. -
look to their friends for relationship inspiration.
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rely on friends for introductions.
Dating in 45 Minutes a Day
Engage on a dating app.
(Thoughtful Likes And Messages)
Improve your Appearance.
(Skincare, Outfit, Fitness)
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Start or engage in an in-person conversation.
Reflect on interactions and refine your approach.
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Read or watch dating-related tips or confidence-building content.
Dating Weekly Goals
Go on at least one date or social event.
Ask a friend for feedback or an introduction.
Visit one new social environment (bar, club, bookstore, gym, etc.).
Reevaluate your dating approach and adjust based on results.
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Funded by Match and conducted in association with The Kinsey Institute, with data collected by Dynata, the 14th annual Singles in America study surveyed a demographically representative sample of 5,001 U.S. singles between the ages of 18 and 98. It remains the most robust scientific study of single Americans, with generational breakouts for Gen Z (18–27), Millennials (28–43), Gen X (44–59), and Boomers (60+).
This year’s study is dedicated to the memory of Dr. Helen Fisher, Match’s longtime Chief Scientific Advisor and co-author of Singles in America for 13 years. A pioneer in the science of romantic love, her legacy lives on through the ongoing exploration of how we connect, desire, and relate.
Singles in America© 2025 Match Group Americas, LLC.
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