John "The Captain" Ryan: Fashion

Wednesday, 5 September 2018

Tess Holliday is amazing. End Of.

Body image activist scores huge with Cosmo magazine.

Firstly, I've said it before and am saying it again. When did we start using the term fat-shaming and body-shaming. Let's call it what it is. BULLYING. Plain and simple. And it's not just "banter" either.

Being a larger than life person myself, I just love the story of Tess and her battle against body-shaming. She is an inspiration to anyone that's not a size zero and she has bad-ass tattoos also.

I've previously blogged about fat-shaming in the LGBT community it's refreshing to see the issue hasn't gone away, much like neither myself or Miss Holliday couldn't be swept under the rug without leaving a large hump in the middle of the living room floor. The uproar on the internet the last week has been crazy although not surprising with a bevy of keyboard warriors complaining but an equal number of people replying to them to sling their skinny assed stupid ideas back where they belong.

Piers Morgan tops the list of stupid comments tweeting ...

as if skinny people don't use the burdened public health system in Britain. And let's face it, Piers isn't the best looking with that stupid tan anyway. As his twitter quote says "One day you're the cock of the walk". He is just a cock (IMHO).

But here's what matters, when all is said and done, Holliday said she's just pleased to finally be happy in her skin: "I'm at the heaviest I've ever been in my life and it took me being the heaviest to finally love myself". Mental health and well being is the most important thing. We need to start teaching our children to be proud of who they are and how they look. Yes, being physically healthy is important, I wish I was 4 stone lighter - purely to alleviate back pain - not to stop OTHER people making comments and assumptions about me.

I love the message she is sending that she would have loved to see a plus-size woman in a magazine and how it would have stopped her spending so much of her youth agonising over her size and appearance. Sasha Brown-Worsham agrees and hopes her daughter doesn't waste her formative years.

And to those prudes out there that don't want to see large people wearing underwear and being (and feeling) sensual they must forget that for every shape, size and colour out there; there is someone that likes and loves that look. And no, that's not being a fetishist, that's living in the real World. Whilst pictures of Tess in underwear do nothing for me (hello! Gay here) I can appreciate that others would like and love her. And anything would be better that the emaciated size zero look of Keira Knightly:

A note of caution though, whilst actors can be self deprecating and poke fun at themselves and their own size (and I'm thinking of you Amy Schumer) sometimes they can be hiding deep-down worries and insecurities. The layers of fat can be literally covering over huge problems. Comedy can't fix what's broken inside and anyway Melissa McCarthy is soooooo much funnier than Amy Schumer. Check out Melissa's latest movie The Happytime Murders to see what I'm talking about.

Not enough has been written about body-shaming and fat-shaming - correction BULLYING - for men and I hope this changes. In the meantime that's my tuppence worth. And to all those out there that love the larger person I would applaud you if I could get my chubby short lazy arms around my ever expanding belly.

Thanks.

John The Captain Ryan

Thursday, 12 July 2018

Fashion & Fat Shaming from an Irish Gay Mans Perspective.

Firstly, answer me this... When did we start using the term FAT SHAMING instead of BULLYING. Because that's what it is.

So, you've probably seen this t-shirt and read a few articles about it. I'm intentionally NOT mentioning or linking to the merchant of this product because it will get their website more hits, but you get the idea. Let me tell you this, if I saw someone wearing this item of "fashion" on the high street they'd be getting a piece of my mind.

For many years, I and lots of my friends have been fighting for equality and dignity. The right to not be attacked and discriminated against because of our sexuality. Lots of us have also fought for the Equality rights of others ( e.g. the Repeal referendum in Ireland a few weeks ago and to release Ibrahim Halawa).

But something insidious has been happening in the LGBT community, and maybe has always happened. We spend an inexorable amount of time ridiculing and chopping each other down.

From a young age (8 or 9) I was always bullied in school. Not because I was gay but because I was overweight. There has NEVER been a time in my life where I have been the "perfect" weight. And let's call it for what it is.

It's BULLYING. Plain and simple.

It's not Fat Shaming... like somehow you are going to help by shaming the person to lose weight...
It's not banter or "bants"...
It's not having a laugh...

Neither is it because the person is STUPID, UGLY, LAZY, not into SPORTS or INACTIVE. I am none of these things.

So, fashion in the Gay community. Yah. That's great fun. The stereotypical flamboyant gay, flapping his wrist, half carrying/covering his ass with a 28 inch waist & 6 pack has no problem buying trendy fashionable clothes off the rack.

Go into any high street store. Jeans stop at 36 inches. They might have a 38 or 40 inch behind the counter or hidden in the store room because fatties aren't supposed to be able to buy jeans but you have to go and ask. Ya, lets make the overweight guy stand out even more. Then you go into the shop where they have perfect sized sales assistants who you just know are going to laugh their heads off when you dejectedly skulk from the store realising that the largest jeans they have on offer might just about traverse one of you arms.

Very few stores in Ireland stock any of the popular brands like Levi, Wrangler or Ben Sherman in large sizes and let's face it, these brands are American, they must come in fat bastard size.

Here's where it gets worse in my opinion. We are faced with a ubiquitous amount of dating apps. Over 20 years ago in Ireland, LGBT singles (and some couples) used yahoo chat groups. Remember them. Then on a really slow dial-up around 15 years ago we started to use Gaydar. Since then we have GrindR, Squirt, Hornet, Scruff, Growlr, and even Recon for those with a kink or fetish. Great you might think to yourself.

WRONG.

This is just more opportunity for those perfectly formed, ab growing, white skinned, hair quaffed pretty boy to post up their dislikes. No fatties, No fems, No chocolate (aka black people) , No rice (oriental people), No gingers. The list is never ending. But what is amazing is how they are comfortable openly listing the way in which they are happy to discriminate and bully other gay people. Where do they get off with this attitude. Without that butch queen, the flamboyant fem and the obnoxious drag queen fighting for their rights, they wouldn't have the World to live in that they have today.

But let's get back to fashion and who is to blame. I don't blame the fashion industry. No, really, I don't.

I blame the shop owners, retail chains and store buyers for not demanding larger sizes for their rails.

I want to be able to walk into a store and grab a few things off the rack and try them on. Find stuff that fits me well and just buy them. Yes, I still have to get my jeans taken up because I have a 27 inch inside leg but that I can live with that. I never pass by a Burton's without going in because I can always find stuff to fit me there. Last year I even bought a suit for an interview OFF THE RACK!

Burton's in Blanchardstown Shopping Centre is great.

But for my final rant.

WHO THE F@&K CAME UP WITH SKINNY STYLE JEANS.

If I ever find them, I will have to go up to them on street and give them a piece of my mind also. It's all fine and good if you are a stick person but trying to wedge my legs into a skinny jeans that actually happens to have 40 inch waist just doesn't work. My large foot won't even go half way down the leg. (and you know what they say about big feet). There has been a huge amount of work done promoting larger sizes for women and the same needs to be done for men.

Finally, there is a happy ending. I found a lovely group of gays in Dublin that organise social nights. The Dublin Bears. They are a great group of guys who don't make fun of each other and when we go out, we have enough stamina and girth to outlast, out dance and out strut all those skinny little twinks that prance around pretending to be Gods gift. I've often said to people "Find Your Tribe" and these are one of the most genuine friendly tribes in the Gay community in Ireland.

The Dublin Bears had a bus at pride this year with some of the hottest guys in the parade...

And, this is a picture of me...

Me on the left, 2 friends in the middle and my hubby Noel on the right. Pride for me is all about being proud about who and what I am. Suspenders are trendy these days so at least I was wearing one fashionable thing. (Don't tell anyone, I've been wearing them for years because they are more comfortable than a belt)

Toodles for now.

John the Captain Ryan.

John "The Captain" Ryan