Author Archives: lydamorehouse

   Banana Fish by Yoshida Akimi

I have to apologize for being gone for so long.

The biggest hold up has been that I managed to spill coffee on my computer and, though it briefly seemed like my computer would pull through, it ended up failing more and more. Eventually, I simply had to finally break down and replace it. In the meantime I was borrowing my wife’s computer, which is fine for a lot of things, but I’m not sure how happy she’d be to discover all of the various screenshots of yuri and yaoi in her pictures folder, you know?

On top of that, I’ve been reading a lot of things lately that have multiple volumes and it’s sometimes difficult for me to know how useful it is for me to review only the first few. 

And then…. 

I fell into Banana Fish.

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If I had found Banana Fish when I was 15 years old I would have thought that I’d died and gone to heaven.  

As a friend of mine said, this story is made of my id. It has everything my trashy, perverted younger self secretly wanted… well, to be, but at the time I would have said in the man I wanted to marry. Our hero, amazingly named Ash Lynx is a  literal genius with an IQ of over 200, a martial arts master, a sharp shooter with insane accuracy, has a tragic backstory that includes male prostitution, is physically based on River Phoenix, and… is gay AF (at least for Eiji Okumura.) 

The tag line alone would have sold it to me–”Nature made him beautiful, nurture made him a killer!”

I will say in advance of talking too much more about it, this manga series is somewhat difficult to find. Even though Banana Fish was first published in the 1980s (specifically from 1985-1994 in Bessatsu Shoujo Comic), it is still in print. At least, my Barnes & Noble had it on the shelves when I was there a few weeks ago. The link above points you to the Viz Media page for it, which only gives you three chapters for free before they put the screws on to get you to subscribe. There are bits and pieces of it uploaded on Internet Archives, but I couldn’t find anything complete out there for free. So, if you are on a budget, you might want to stop reading now, lest you, like me, find it compelling enough to consider blowing your budget over.

If you already subscribe to Netflix, there is, at least, reissue of an old anime series available for you to watch. That’s how I ended up first consuming it. 

So, the story. The whole thing is so deeply improbable in the most fun way. The larger plot involves a mind-control drug invented by the Chinese mafia (maybe) with ties to the US government. Ash’s connection is through an older brother who served either in Iraq (the updated version) or Vietnam (the original) who was tested on against his will and has since become deeply disabled. And, also the evil kingpin, Dino Golzine, who picked Ash up off the street and Epstein filed him, as it were, while also grooming him to one day take over as head of the Italian mafia. This plot is truly ‘gonzo,’ and just science fictional enough that I stayed hooked despite some real doozies of “random” coincidences. 

The romance end of the story starts when we begin to follow our other main, Eiji Okumura, yaoi’s first perfect cinnamon bun of a boy, into the dark underbelly of America’s gang scene in the 1980s. Eiji is an assistant to a photojournalist who has come from Japan to document the crime and lawlessness that is America. (I mean… fair.) However, while it is true that guns are everywhere in the US and the gangs of 80-90s were BAD, there were times when even I–who had very purposefully removed my suspenders of disbelief and set them aside–had moments of, “Uh… I’m pretty sure you can’t actually get away with THAT much gun violence??!!?” 

But, luckily, the cops are bumbling idiots. (Again, fair.)

In the first chapters, Eiji manages to impress Ash with a daring pole-vaulting escape, and thus an OTP is born.

The story of Banana Fish is only very lightly a Boys’ Love. In the anime, the only kiss we get is when Ash, who is in prison, wants to pass a secret note to Eiji. What I’ve seen from the manga, there is a little more titillation here and there with implied sexual situations/sexual assault. But, don’t read or watch this one for the sexy bits. The romance is pretty strong, though I will warn that Banana Fish goes the way of Cowboy Bebop. So, it’s also probably best if you don’t attach too much to either of the two mains–or many of the side-characters, honestly. I got burned by caring a bit too much for “Shorter,” Ash’s bestie. 

It’s far too complicated and messy to give you all the various turns and twists, but, for me, it was an absolute delight to watch Ash Lynx be everyone’s “hellcat”/problem and Eiji be the comfort of home for Ash to fight his way back to. 

The manga’s art is very much a product of its time, but, for me, there is an elegance in Yoshida-sensei’s line art that makes me accept that Ash and Eji were seen as “bishonen” back in the day. I’m not quite sure I can explain it, but some of her art is just full of a kind of sensuality that draws the eye in and causes it to pause.

10/10 would again. In fact, I will probably be wasting a lot of money on collecting this manga series over the next however many years.

The Song of Rainfall / Ameoto no Uto by Inoue Nawo

The Song of Rainfall is a short story collection. The manga opens with a fun little metaphor of a story about how lucky a person feels in love. It’s called “The Man Wearing One Sock.” This was my favorite story in the collection, which is probably why I ended up feeling over all dissatisfied, as I felt it peaked early.

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“The Man Wearing One Sock” is a cute, little one shot about how lucky it feels to be in love.  The story follows the hapless Irou, a guy who just can not seem to get it together. Until one day, when Aoi moves in next door. Aoi is a cheerful, helpful sort who always just seems to be in the right place at the right time to help out Irou. For instance, Aoi discovers that Irou’s missing socks are being stolen by the neighborhood cat and is able to return them to Irou. Life is just better with Aoi in it. Apparently, this is enough for Irou to be like, so maybe also sex?? Which, I mean there have likely been dumber reasons to hook-up?

The second story is the titular “The Song of Rainfall.”  This story also is the bulk of the collection, coming, as it does, in several parts. This is one of those that I wanted to love … and then incest gets introduced. In this case we have a morose, heart sore professor, Amamiya, who both pines and feels guilty of lusting after his step-brother. Along comes Naruse, a dead ringer for the step-brother. Naruse is caught out in the rain and, classically, Amamiya invites this handsome stranger in to dry off. I don’t know, it kind of just gets weird from there because Naruse is also maybe looking for a father figure? They sort of work it out over time, but I am not convinced it’s healthy.

The third story is called “In First Love’s Midst,” and follows two brothers Shin and Take that the translator insists in their notes are “step-brothers.” I mean, sure, but it’s not like we haven’t seen straight-up incest before. Take is the older brother who is always there for Shin, until it’s time to move out. Shin seems to like girls, but likes Take better, so they conspire to live together in the future. If you find this sort of devotion romantic, it’s nice enough. 

As discussed here before, I find the step/brother stuff to be a bit off-putting, but I understand that it comes from a Japanese ideal of “those who know you best.” The whole thing would work so much better for me if the new lover just looked like an ex, but what can you do? I was surprised to discover that this collection isn’t all that old, having come out in 2010. I always think of these incest kink stories as belonging to the previous century, but 2010 is 16 years ago, so close enough I guess.

The art in this one is also somewhat… funky. It’s a little on the crude side. So, maybe with all of these strikes against it, it will be a miss for you. I only stumbled across it because I am still working through the free manga on Comics Plus, though my library subscription. As always, if you are okay reading the pirate version (or want to try before you buy) it is linked above. (Actually the above link only has the first of the short stories, sorry. This one is hard to find online.)

Flower Shadow’s Memory / Hanakage no Kioku by Mieno Saori

Version 1.0.0

The afterward of this manga is actually kind of fascinating because it sort of sums up the problems I ended up having with this one…

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The set up in Flower Shadow’s Memory should have been perfect for me.

The cover copy says that this is a story of childhood lovers who later learn that their respective stations will keep them apart. Oooooo, a bunch of stuff Lyda loves! Forbidden love with explicit class conflict! Master/servant vibes! Sign me up!

But, this one didn’t work for me.

There’s a bunch of implied sex and some explicit stuff in the final chapters, but, for me, it somehow failed the dynamic(s) that I love so much. Also, the art in this one was very pretty, but, again, for me, fell into that ‘wispy’ category that I tend to dislike. 

Also, you are welcome to disagree, but I’ve never been fond of the whole tsudere thing when presented as a given without a lot of context. I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t like being asked to PRESUME that someone who yells and snarls and rages has a tender heart underneath, without being given some evidence early on in the text to suggest that besides some smoldering glances. 

The problem being that if you don’t get a true sense of the tender before the temper, it kind of just seems like abuse.

Obviously, if you read any of my fanfic, you know that I can personally get a lot of mileage out of a master/servant dynamic paired with a tsudere/blue oni top. And, I think I just answered my own question, which is: given this, why didn’t this work for me?

I want fire against ice. When the dynamic is imbalanced, I want to feel the chafe, the anguish, the shame, or whatever it is that twists up the lower-born when they are forced to submit to the whims of the higher-born. I want to know that the lower-born resists bondage, in a way, because that gives them power to match the power-over, if that makes sense?

A person could make the argument that in this story Laurent is the ice against Arthur’s fire, but this simple reverse screws up what’s hot (for me) about a power imbalance. If the guy with all the power uses it to throw himself against an ice princess who appears to only submit because it is what is required of him, I’m… feeling cringy? A little uncomfortable? Because, like, ice isn’t a very powerful weapon if it’s wielded against fire. If the fire is stronger than the ice, then ice just gets vaporized. Literally.

A small fire against a larger ice? That still does visible damage. The tiniest spark melts ice. That’s why I prefer it if there is fire on the bottom of the social rung, if you will. If there’s ice on top (not just sexually in this case, but also socio-economically,) even if it’s like in this manga, a somewhat an unbreakable barrier, the more the fire pushes against that wall, the closer they are to equal. 

Does that make sense? Maybe I should talk about it in terms of the actual story of Flower Shadow’s Memory. Laurent is the ice; he’s also the low-born one who is essentially owned by Arthur the hot-headed tsundere of the English gentleman class. At some point, in their youth, Arthur supposedly fell in love with Laurent and has remained in love ever since. We get a tiny scene at the start that doesn’t entirely convey this love? It’s a bit metaphorical about admiring Laurent’s skill… as a gardener. But, then, flash to the now and Arthur is storming off after a fight with Laurent and the other servants sighing and saying, “Oh, fighting again, I see?” So, we know that Arthur verbally abuses Laurent all time and Laurent is all, “We must be kind to our lord…” and other beaten wife kinds of excuses. Later, too, in our first “sex scene,” we see Arthur forcing himself against a not-exactly-resisting, but head-turning-away Doing It for England-seeming Laurent. 

Not a great first impression.

So when a handsome top-hat wearing gentleman, Carl, rides up and is all, “I like your flowers,” I immediately start rooting for Laurent to dump Arthur for this guy who seems to appreciate his passions.

Do you ever have friends where you look at their love life choices and think, “I give it a year, tops.” That’s kind of how I felt at the end of this manga, even though Arthur has done the unthinkable and sold or otherwise disposed of his family fortune in order to be a “lowly” peasant like Arthur. 

Yeah, sure. Because class is just money, right? Get rid of the money and the property and I’m SURE Arthur is just a simple man with simple wants underneath!  Surely, he rejects all those old-fangled ideas of the right of kings and royal blood being better than peasant stock!!  Love will get them through!

I guess I don’t trust like that? How long until Arthur is all, “fetch me this!” and “My royal person! You dare!?”? 

I give them a year, tops.

But, if you read this and think, “What? Is Lyda on crack again?? This sounds amazing!” Have at it with my full blessings!  I did read to the end, so I can’t point fingers if you do too! To be fair, I was rooting for Carl, even though I knew that most of the time, manga doesn’t work like that, and there was some hope… alas. Listen, it’s fantasy. If you want to fall into the dream where the broody, vaguely wicked, Bad Boy English gentleman really is just a poor soul at heart who will give up his wealth and privilege just to be with you, his only love, who am I to deny you that! Sounds delightful!  

It just didn’t work for me.

My Lover is Just Too Innocent to Handle / Koibito ga Ubu suite Komaru (Vol. 1) by Hirota

I’m not sure what I was expecting from this title but ‘lover’ seems a little strong of a word here given just how innocent the story is… at least so far. And maybe that’s the joke? Once again, I must confess: sometimes I just don’t get humor. 

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My Lover is Just Too Innocent to Handle / Koibito ga Ubu suite Komaru is a very light comedy about a popular high school jock who falls for a shy nerdy twink. The story opens with Hiyama, the popular boy, handing Hasegawa an exchange diary. If you’ve never come across an exchange diary, feel free to click the link to read the official Wikipedia entry, but in a nutshell it’s a journal or notebook that is passed around between friends. You write about your day or whatever and the next person does the same. It can be between two people or a whole group. Sometimes it’s for deep thoughts, but mostly it’s a more personal, intimate, and tactile way to write letters (or email or social media without the internet part?)  I actually did one of these with adults during the pandemic and they can be a lot of fun because you’re encouraged to decorate them, etc. They pop-up in manga from time to time, most notably in Wandering Son and, of course, My Solo Exchange Diary.

The story immediately goes into a flashback to explain how this unlikely couple formed. Hasegawa immediately assumes that Hiyama’s love confession must have been something he was dared to do–they don’t know each other and they’ve hardly spoken. Turns out, Hiyama has been admiring Hasegawa from a distance and just realized how happy he was to discover that they were in the same class again this year.

What follows is a lot of Hiyama trying to figure out what it means to be dating a boy… or really, anyone.  The exchange diary started because Hiyama realized that he had all these physical feelings about Hasegawa, but knew very little about him as a person. And, you know, he is very sincere and genuine in his desire to properly court Hasegawa. 

All the same, they seem to mostly use the diary to plan dates in secret. 

Hiyama is the “just too innocent to handle” half of this couple in part because he is clearly attracted to Hasegawa and absolutely DOES NOT know how to deal or what to do about it. 

It’s pretty wholesome and cute.

I enjoyed the art. There’s a very wholesome-yet-somehow-erotic moment where the couple meets for lunch and Hasegawa has forgotten his and so Hiyama feeds him? It’s done very well and…there are moments like that, throughout. 

The story is complete in two volumes and, while I found the story compelling enough, I didn’t feel a burning need to run out and read the second. As I noted in the opening, there’s a light humorous thread that goes throughout that mostly works for me. At one point Hiyama is hurt that Hasegawa doesn’t pick him as the most popular during sports day or some such and it’s very over-the-top in a way that’s actually quite funny, but you know me. I’m not as invested when the stories are largely silly, especially since I’m not great at getting the humor a lot of the time. 

That being said, would I recommend it to you? Absolutely. It’s cute and innocent and funny. What’s not to love?  

I got mine through Comics Plus, so there is an official English translation available through Yen Press, but you know how to find the link to the pirate version if you want to just a taste before buying (hint: linked in first paragraph below ‘spoilers.’)

The Vacation in Love / Yuge to Yuuwaku no Vacation Kari Sumako

I mentioned having read The Vacation in Love when I reviewed Since I Could Die Tomorrow, and I am only now getting around to it. My apologies!

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Apparently, for Kari-sensei exhaustion is a personality trait. I mean, I’m not sure she’s wrong? In 2026, I absolutely feel this might be a significant portion of my attitude about everything and, believe me, I am pretty worn out by *gestures at everything.* 

This guy is so tired he walks right out of the panel….

In The Vacation of Love, we meet Suzaki, a salaryman who is completely worn out. All he wants at the end of a long day at the office is to sit and soak in his bathtub at home. Only, when he sinks into his tub, he discovers that his hot water heater is busted. He puts in a call to get it fixed, but he’ll have to do without for several weeks.  Suzaki suddenly remembers he has all of these fliers for a bath house down the street and decides to finally go check it out.

The irony that I did not catch the first time I read this manga is that the person who sent all these bath house fliers to Suzaki in the first place was his now ex-girlfriend. She really loved Suzaki, but longed for him to learn to relax enough to one day realize he should quit his job. The ex gave up and finally moved away (though they had been together for five years), and now, having basically just missed her last day at work at that very bath house, fate leads Suzaki into the arms of another person who was rooting for him (and secretly longing for his attention)–the bath house attendant named Ken.

I was on a panel this last weekend at Convergence entitled “Life Lessons That Anime Taught Me,” and I feel like it could have a corollary panel just called “Stuff I Learned from Anime.” For instance, unless Kari-sensei is completely making this up, apparently, some bath houses in Japan will let you sleep on the premises. You have to pay extra if you stay longer than a certain number of hours, but, luckily for Suzaki, Ken decides to become a personal wake-up call.

There’s a kind of implied slow burn in the manga. Suzaki is becoming a regular while he waits for the maintenance to be done on his water heater. He gets to know the other people who frequent the place.

This is also where he discovers that the other attendants call him by his nickname, Su-kun, because his ex used to talk about him all the time. And, slowly, being awakened by handsome Ken has Suzaki starting to wonder what it would be like to share a bath with Ken.

Short story even shorter, eventually, Suzaki asks Ken out for a meal. It’s sort of a date, not a date, and basically wants to know why he never sees Ken in the bath, since surely that’s a perk of the job. Suzaki has already imagined tattoos and scars, but the truth is simpler. Ken is gay and is worried that, well, he might reveal himself if he’s naked in a room with… Suzaki.

Suzaki decides, in the way of yaoi, this is “not gross” and so, when the chance to join some of the regulars on a vacation getaway, he quits his job, and joins them. Suzuki and Ken agree to be hotel roommates and you can probably guess the trajectory of the rest of this story. 

I still maintain that Kari-sensei is probably a better writer than the fan translations (and official ones) can convey. There’s a vibe from the art (and the reactions of the characters around him) that Suzaki is maybe the sort of guy who, because he’s just kind of done giving any craps due to his constant state of exhaustion, is blunt in a hilarious sort of way. As I’ve discussed a lot before in the past, comedy is one of those things that isn’t as universal as we think it is. So much of some kinds of comedy depend on a deep understanding of lived culture. And I can kind of squint and see that shining through? 

As I noted in my previous review of Kari-sensei’s work, I find her art style kind of fascinating. Like, Suzaki shouldn’t be cute? Yet sometimes he totally is. 

Do I recommend this one? I’m a little more on the fence about it than I would be most others. It is short and complete in one volume, but it isn’t smutty enough to be worth the somewhat convoluted plot that it takes to get our heroes to their first kiss. Obviously, you can decide for yourself. If you like sweet think-pieces, this might be right up your alley!

I Love You So Much, I Hate You / Nikurashii Hodo Aishiteru by Yuni

It’s rare that you find a yuri that operates on the premise that women like sex and that maybe, like men, they might have a friends with benefits situation that only later turns into love.

Frankly, as a woman who likes sex with women, I’m here for it.

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I Love You So Much, I Hate You / Nikurashii Hodo Aishiteru begins with an affair already in progress. The power couple at work, Fujimura Saori and her boss, Asano Ayako, are also a power couple in the bedroom. 

The problem, naturally, is Ayako is married and Saori wants more from Ayako than a quick roll in the hay, once a week, at a love hotel. Thanks to an after-work dinner that becomes a solo date, Ayako starts to warm up to this idea.  Things grow more and more romantic between the two until, one day, a scandal breaks in another department–a different boss is caught in an affair with his secretary/underling and the two realize that there are serious consequences to the game they’re playing.

What follows is a rather basic premise, in a way. Saori and Ayako agree to a break for the safety of both their jobs, but this gives Ayako a chance to have a kind of “come to Jesus” moment regarding her marriage. Ayako only started fooling around with Saori as a way to get back at her husband for his own wandering ways. However, as time has progressed, she’s come to realize the things that Saori gives her that he can not (possibly including, one presumes, an orgasm.) 

Look, is the plot weak? Yes. Yes, it fully is. 

However, how many yoai have I read with even fewer excuses for a couple to be together? MANY, MANY…

MANY!

So my hot take is, why not let women have a lovers to romance plot line for once? It happens so often in yaoi, it’s sort of presumed that men will START by falling into bed before falling in love. Oops, I slept over after the office party and “accidentally” had gay sex!  At least these women must have started with some kind of mutual attraction, you know? And, frankly, I know people presume women aren’t all that into it, but that’s simply not true. I know plenty of lesbian women who are love ‘em and leave ‘em types. I, myself, have had hook-ups JUST FOR THE SEX. This is a real thing. 

That being said, the sex in the manga is only sort of explicit. There is nakedness and a lot of things happening that you can figure out if you have some context (including why it’s significant when the femme cuts her fingernails), but it’s not nearly as straight-forwardly porny as a lot of yaoi. 

Still, I enjoyed it. I love having adult women doing adult recreation! The art isn’t super cutesy, and I really loved that Ayako actually sort of looks like an American lesbian? And speaking of butch/femme heteronormativity, the expectations are flipped here? The short-haired “girl-boss” is the femme in the bedroom. 

Would I recommend it? I mean, if you are reading for the story, possibly not. It is available in an official English translation from Yen Press and, you know, look for the link above if you are okay with pirate scanlations

Kimi ni Ienai Koto ga aru / There Are Things I Can’t Tell You by Edako Mofumofu

I’m not sure that Kimi ni Ienai Koto ga aru / There Are Things I Can’t Tell You  was to my taste, but it might be to yours.  And, since I have decided to try to review everything I read, here goes…

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I’m going to start by saying: Yes, I can see that it’s right there in the title. This manga (which is complete in one volume) is, in fact, called There Are Things I Can’t Tell You. 

Yet, what didn’t I like? 

The not talking.

I think I was expecting that the thing that they would struggle to say to one another would be “I love you” and that the story was thus going to be a slow burn, which is the kind of not talking about things that I tend to actually enjoy. But, that’s not the problem here. In the first chapter, one of them says, out loud, that he loves a certain aspect of the other’s personality. They actually confess to each other kind of regularly.

What apparently they suck at saying is that “when I seemed horrified by your confession, I was actually into it, but decided, based on an assumption I made, that you are not as gay as I am and so decided without actually checking-in that I would ghost you and act like I was not at all into you and thus fuck up our entire adult relationship. All because I think it’s what’s best for you.”

It’s not an uncommon trope? It’s just not one of my favorites.

At least this one has some on-screen, uncensored sex, however. Not, in my opinion, enough of it to slog through all the drama and a strange amount of job-related stories, but again, maybe angst is your thing?  

If so, let me introduce you to Kasumi and Kyosuke, childhood besties, that are, according to the back matter, “polar opposites.” I would say that they have a lot in common, but more on that in a bit. Kasumi (the dark-haired one with glasses, naturally) is shy and reserved and Kyosuke (lighter-haired, of course) is the out-going jock type. 

The story largely follows Kyosuke’s point of view, even into his daily adult life as a graphic art designer. As I noted, we follow him into his office and watch him try to win various bids, etc. I’m not sure what this adds to the story? Maybe his long hours focused on work is supposed to explain why he doesn’t notice that Kasumi is always finding reasons to sleepover at his? 

Despite their otherwise very intimate life–they go to movies and dinner together regularly–Kyosuke is convinced that Kasumi is as straight as they come, despite all of the mounting evidence both in the present and past. This misconception, we discover, comes from a moment in high school when Kyosuke accidentally read the shrine wish that Kasumi made for a “future happy family.” 

Kasumi has always had it rougher than Kyosuke, it seems. He was praying for “happy families” because before his parents divorced, his father was a real piece of work. This past trauma has led Kasumi to choose closed-off, unavailable romantic partners, including the one he has at the beginning, a married woman. Kyosuke absolutely hates this relationship. Because he has all these unspoken feelings towards Kasumi, he kind of acts like a dick a lot, which then further pulls the two apart.

Somehow they still end up screwing around. Even this isn’t a solution because now it’s Kasumi’s turn to make stupid assumptions about Kyosuke’s wants and desires. Basically, because of how Kyosuke has had a tendency to “rescue” the shy kid from being a loner in middle and high school, Kasumi figures he’s a pity fuck and breaks things off. 

In my opinion, it takes way too long for these two numbnuts to get it together, but obviously they manage it five chapters (which is faster than some!) so I guess I shouldn’t complain. 

I think more than anything I just wasn’t in the mood for what I got? The art is quite decent and, they do get it on, so *throws up hands* I GUESS it’s fine.

So, do I recommend it? I mean, it does say exactly on the tin what it is. It’s about two guys who just can’t talk about some things and, maybe knowing more about the exact problem will be the trick for you to enjoy it. As I said, I would have been fine with this as a slow burn and I think I just got frustrated that wasn’t what it was. So, I can’t give it all the stars, but maybe you could.

Dirty Darlin’ / Don’t Call Me Dirty by Kanbe Gorou

You can blame Anoka County for its promotion of Comics Plus for the in-coming flood of yaoi reviews. 

Dirty Darlin’/Don’t Call Me Dirty is a love story between a homeless guy and a liquor store attendant who self-describes as having terrible taste in men. There is a weird amount of plot in this, and so I am not at all surprised that it spawned a spin-off called Daddy Darlin’/Don’t Call Me Daddy. 

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We are introduced to Shouji Mita when some neighborhood kids complain about the fact that the old man who runs the next door candy store is sundowning again, and they can’t rouse him.  Being the grumpy but kind-hearted guy Shouji is, he goes over and rings up the kids. All the while he complains that his current lover–a married man–is not answering his calls or texts. Even the five year olds are like, “Dude. You have got to pick better men!” 

While everyone is giving Shouji crap, a big hulking homeless guy appears at the door. The homeless guy wants to know what’s the most filing thing he can buy for what looks to me like a five yen coin. Shouji, despite being horrified by how dirty and smelly the man is, not only helps him out with a cup of ramen, but immediately kind of falls for him.

What follows is both pathetic and sweet. 

Shouji ends up noticing the homeless man around town, a guy who he thinks is named Hama, around more and more. They get up to a bunch of antics together, some serious–like when Hama is falsely accused of stealing candy bars from the candy story–and some light. Eventually, in a surprise to no one but Shouji, his married man dumps him and then Shouji is faced with untangling his burgeoning feelings towards Hama. Is it true love or is it just pity?

For his part, Hama would mostly just like to be left alone. Also, he seems to have mostly been straight before watching some gay porn after Shouji starts hitting on him.

Hama has, of course, his own tragic backstory of how he ended up on the streets which, by the end, is resolved by the weird amount of plot previously mentioned, specifically the candy store’s old man’s son (who I’m sure is the love interest along with Shouji’s blogging dad in the “Daddy” spin-off.) By the end he has cleaned-up but good and the two end in an HEA.

The manga goes to some length to underscore the metaphor–Shouji has been told by many of his terrible lovers that anal sex, specifically, is unclean and that gayness is “dirty.” Hama, meanwhile, represents the unclean of society in a more literal sense. Both of them are considered dirty, but are actually deserving of our sympathy.

It’s a nice sentiment, if a bit heavy-handed. The manga sort of tries to parse out some issues around homelessness and personal autonomy, but honestly Shouji is so clingy that he basically inserts himself and “saves” Hama, kind of whether or not Hama really wants to be saved.

I enjoyed it. The art is decent and the kids who hang out at the candy store are kind of worth their weight in comedy gold. The story is largely plot-driven and sweet and the only sex we get is implied with the addition of a totally safe-for-work post-coital scene. 

Shouji really does have terrible taste in men, however, because it’s clear that even with Hama he hasn’t really figured out how to make anal sex not painful. First of all, my dudes, there are so many more things you can do! Second, go slow! Take your time, stretch things out. No need to go from zero to sixty… or ever! You don’t need to ape the patriarchy, Shouji! Penetrative sex is not the only real sex!! Have sex in a way that is fun and painless for both you and your partner OR FIND A BETTER PARTNER! 

/rant

Anyway, the story is complete in one volume. It has been officially translated into English and you should be able to, as I did, find it in your local library or via the Comics Plus app.

Why I Adopted My Husband: The True Story of a Gay Couple Seeking Legal Recognition in Japan by Yuta Yagi

I’m behind on my reviews. In the works I have (finally catching up with the cool kids) Witch Hat Atelier and Kowloon Generic Romance. But, first, in honor of Pride Month, I give you Why I Adopted My Husband: The True Story of a Gay Couple Seeking Legal Recognition in Japan / Douseikon de Oyako ni Narimashita.

SPOILERS

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When I was looking for some information on this title, I stumbled across a three-star review on Goodreads that basically praised this book, but felt that it was a deeply depressing comment on the state of the world, but specifically Japan, a country that exports so much LGBTQIA+ content. 

They’re not wrong.

It’s also a somewhat difficult read because it’s incredibly basic. I suspect this manga is incredibly important when it was first released in Japan in April of 2017 (同性婚で親子になりました from Bunkasha.) In a lot of ways it reminds me of My Brother’s Husband, in that, in the midst of some of the personal stories there are long chapter inserts that are how-tos. At one point, there is even a line-by-line instruction manual as to how to fill out the adoption papers, including directions for lesbian couples doing the same.

Unlike My Brother’s Husband, the story of Why I Adopted My Husband… is 100% autobiographical and, thus, a lot lighter. There are a couple of cute stories about how the couple broke the news to their respective parents, but largely it is meant to guide couples through getting legal recognition, which gave me huge flashbacks to life in, as my friend calls it, “the late 1900s.” When my now-wife and I were first together, we had to pay a lawyer a lot of money to try to legally cover all the things that married couples are simply granted by law once they tie the knot. Things like inheritance, hospital visitation rights, financial power of attorney, etc. 

So, if you read this as an American, think of it as a kind of time capsule. In the US, adult adoption is not common, but when you hit one of those walls of texts Yagi-sensei does list out all the things you need to try to cover legally if adoption is not on the table. It is, as he notes, much more complex and messy–since much of it still depends on whether or not your family will respect your wishes (or that of your partner.) And, yeah, that? That was my wife and I in the 90s. 

Is it a fun read? I mean, the chibi art is kind of cute. Yagi-sensei does not shy away from implied sex–though, obviously, there is no real smut in this manga. It’s complete in one volume and if you are fond of these kinds of autobiographical things, it is a very quick, fun read. It’s officially licensed in English (from Tokyopop), though I got my version from ComicsPlus Library.  If you need/want a pirated/scanlated version, the link is provided in the first paragraph of this review as usual, although now that I investigate it further, it looks as though they don’t have any chapters yet. Here’s a link to a place where you can read the first chapter for free: https://comics.inkr.com/title/2262-why-i-adopted-my-husband-the-true-story-of-a-gay-couple-seeking-legal-recognition-in-japan.

It’s hard to recommend that you spend a lot of money on it since it’s not really much of a story? But, if my library had it, maybe yours will too!

Since I Could Die Tomorrow / Ashita Shinu ni wa  by Kari Sumako

There’s nothing like reading a manga about women younger than yourself complaining about growing older to make a person feel really ancient.

SPOILERS

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Since I Could Die Tomorrow  follows three women as they enter their early 40s and start to experience perimenopause. It’s a little bit about having a mid-life crisis, because all three women also feel a sudden need (or are forced by circumstances) to change things about themselves–from small things like dying their hair to taking over caring for an elderly parent/changing jobs.  

(Note for English-speaking readers: this manga uses the term menopause in place of parimenopause. This usage is possibly correct in Japan, but in the US, “menopause” is typically defined as twelve months after you’ve had your last period. Menopause is the time long past all of the hot flashes, mood swings, etc. So, when the mangaka suggests that menopause can start as early as your late thirties, she’s talking about parimenopause–all the things that lead up to the end of your period–but her information is otherwise correct.) 

But, so who are these women? What’s their story?

First, we have Sawako Honna, a 42 year-old who works for a film promotion company. She’s presented as very brash/mercurial, a funky combination of scatterbrained and super competent, and introspective. Her sections were fascinating on a lot of levels because, I for one have zero understanding how film promotion works here in the States.  So, seeing what her job entailed in Japan could have been a whole manga in and of itself, especially since there’s a lot of work drama around having to manage not only stars–directors, actors, and the like–but also a “f*ckwit” of a coworker who just never shows up to things/is chronically late. Sawako also has the best romance in the series. She falls for a guy with terminal cancer, who wants to spend his last days writing and directing a film. I think even though it’s shrouded in tragedy, Sawako’s story ends up the most satisfying, in part because of all of the friends Sawako is the one most actively working to change her life. 

The second person we meet is Toko Komiya. She’s also 42, but has led a more traditional life. She married a man much older than she is, had a baby (who is now a 22 year-old adult, living at home.) Toko never moved away for college or work and is still living in the same small town she was born in. When we meet her, Toko is starting a part time job because her husband’s work shipped him overseas for six months. It’s not clear why she needs this work? There is an implication that she looked for the job as something to do during the day, now that she isn’t a full-time mother and housewife. It’s a really menial job–she’s making pudding at a restaurant, but I guess Toko still sees this as a chance to get out of the house, do something, and meet new people. Which she absolutely does, including a handsome 20 year old guy who flirts with her. At any rate, Toko is both the literal mom and the “mom friend” of the group. Toko is the one who wants to get the group of friends together the most. To me, Toko reads the most like what American’s would see as a “suburban mom” / “soccer mom.” Her story is largely about learning to be okay where she’s at and with who she is.

The third friend gets introduced much later (Vol 2, Chapter 7). She’s also 42 and her name is Sara Narukami and when we first meet Sara, she’s a NEET/shut-in who of her own reckoning is one step from becoming homeless. She spends her days playing pachinko, wasting her mother’s money. Later on in the volumes, her mother’s stroke forces Sara to get her act together, but she’s probably the saddest sack of the lot of them. I found her story the least engaging, in part because Sara spends so much of it moping around aimlessly and wouldn’t have changed without her mother’s sudden illness. I mean, I can relate? But that doesn’t mean it was fun to read, you know? There’s a whole thing they teach writers about protagonists needing to “protag,” and Sara absolutely lets the plot direct her, instead of the other way around. It’s realistic?  It’s just not a very satisfying story. Sara’s story’s theme is about the changes that make us reconsider who our parents are to us and our evolving relationship to them as they age.

The series is complete in four volumes and is the 23rd Japan Media Arts Festival Excellence Award winner, as well as being nominated for the 2020 Manga Taisho Award. I can both see why it won awards and still sort of feel like something gets lost in translation.

Truthfully? I actually bounced out of this manga previously. 

I only got a few chapters in–to the introduction of Toko, before abandoning it. This time, I ended up liking it quite a bit, if for no other reason than it’s nice to see women of a certain age as main characters. I’m struggling a little with how to articulate the part that felt a little off that first time I read it and which haunted me this second time through (though obviously it didn’t stop me from finishing.) I actually sought out a couple of the mangaka’s shorter works, including a yaoi called The Vacation in Love to see if there was something about Kari-sensei’s writing or art style that I could put a finger on as the cause of this feeling of slight disconnection.

Having read The Vacation in Love, I’m more convinced that my issue is, in fact, one of imperfect or impossible to translate dialogue. There’s a Gilmore Girl-esque vibe to the main character in Since I Might Die Tomorrow–she is clearly really quirky in a fun, sarcastic way, but if you read the words as they are written in English she kind of just comes off as weirdly bitchy? And people’s verbal and visual reactions to her don’t seem to match how *I* feel after reading the words? 

So I know something’s off. I’ve been reading manga long enough now that it’s not that I’m just not getting some visual cue (like all the little things you have to learn when you’re first reading manga like what the little * is that will appear at people’s temples when they’re irritated or infuriated.) What’s happening here for me is that it’s more that I’m getting a visual cue and that it doesn’t match up to the expected vibe, at least not entirely–or worse, I understand just enough of the cues for me to stop and say, “Wait. What’s missing here? What didn’t I get?” 

My guess? I think it’s a cultural expression of sarcasm. 

I can only imagine what it would be like to try to dub Gilmore Girls, what with all of the pop culture references, attitude, vibe, and most importantly, WAYS of speaking–word play and word choice, sarcasm, irony, etc.–into any language other than English. When there are pop culture references in manga, usually there is a glossary at the back so you can get the context, but even when I don’t fully get it while I’m reading it, I still get the vibe. I’m like, “Oh, it’s a cool pop artist that I just don’t know, this means that the character is hip. I get it.”  In this one it feels like the vibe is unreadable through context, which makes me think it has to be something like irony or sarcasm or a way of speaking that just will not perfectly translate across culture.

But don’t get me wrong, there is still a lot to enjoy in Since I Could Die Tomorrow.

The art style, at places, is heavily metaphorical. Kari-sensei uses shedding skin and fading flowers (lilies, interestingly, which is one of those symbols of sexual drive that seems to cross cultures) to convey life-changing moments. She also has a fascinating ability to make the mundane beautiful. Sawako is somehow both beautiful and average. She also draws Sawako’s bespectacled lover with a lot of care, even as he thins out and loses his hair to chemo–you can still understand the continued desire. Likewise, we see the naked bodies of these women (usually from behind, after a shower) and Kari-sensei’s art somehow conveys all the slight sags and expanding middles, but also the infinite beauty that age can not repossess. 

(Fair warning, however, the characters also change hairstyles a lot, so if you have face blindness of any variety, be on the lookout for this. I think it makes sense, narratively, since changing their hair is a thing that women do to combat their feelings around aging, but it also sometimes makes it difficult for the reader to track who is who, especially when the change is drastic.)

This is a gentle story about, as Sawako says at some point, aging into who you are.

I recommend it? But there’s a reason it’s shelved in the adult section, which has nothing to do with sex or “mature subjects” of the erotic or violent sort. Beyond my vague sense that there’s a charm that isn’t quite translating properly into English, it’s very much a book that explores things that will largely only make sense after 30. I’m not trying to say that if you’re younger you shouldn’t read it!  But, the intensity of betrayal a person feels the first time their body gives out on them for the crime of sleeping wrong is hard to convey unless you’ve experienced it. It might not resonate the same way. However, I do think that the romance works regardless of age. The story of having to take responsibility when you don’t want to also feels universal, even though I haven’t gone through anything like that myself.

So, you know, mileage may vary. I mean, you can always do what I did, which is let yourself bounce out of it and come back another time. I do think it’s worth giving a try, however.