"Time itself cannot be changed, reversed, saved, nor can it be destroyed—but it can be lost." - Judge L. Scott Melville
There are countless books written about leadership - some focus on negotiation, some on influence and strategy, and others on executive presence. Yet for me, after years of reading, the most important leadership lesson I've ever received didn't come from a CEO, a professor, or a bestselling author.
It came from my father.
It wasn't about becoming successful or climbing the corporate ladder.
It was about time, his favorite four-letter word. Or as he would say T-I-M-E.
More specifically, his lesson to me was about the important difference between spending time and investing time.
One week ago, my father and I finished writing down the journey of his career together as the last chapter of my upcoming book, Invisible Senators (BPP/Simon & Schuster). Soon thereafter, he pulled me aside and handed me a letter that contained a summary of the words he had spoken to me often, but were now canonized in writing. He saw the contents as so important, he asked me never to share them with anyone, although today I share them with you. What I didn’t know was that later that evening he would check into the hospital, and the next day he would pass away.
To me, this letter contained the greatest leadership lesson of them all.
Are You Investing Your Time - Or Merely Spending It?
As leaders, we often talk about investing capital, obsess over return on investment, and analyze markets before making financial decisions. But rarely do we ask the same question about the most valuable asset we'll ever possess.
Are you investing your time?
My father, the Honorable L. Scott Melville, spent 35 years serving on the Connecticut Superior Court bench. Raised by General Benjamin O. Davis Jr., the legendary commander of the Tuskegee Airmen, my father understood service before success; he saw the importance of how people invest their time as a sign of consistency.
His letter to me started with a simple phrase: "Time itself cannot be changed, reversed, saved, nor can it be destroyed—but it can be lost."
A simple acknowledgment uncovered the uncomfortable truth that time disappears whether we're intentional with it or not - and a realization that forces you to think differently.
Aspiring leaders often view their calendars as a list of obligations - from meetings to flights to deadlines.
These activities cost time.
My Father Challenged Me To Think Like An Investor of Time.
Investors willingly sacrifice something today because they believe it will create greater value tomorrow.
The same principle applies to leadership. Every hour mentoring a young employee is an investment. Every difficult conversation avoided becomes interest on a debt you’ll eventually have to pay. Every evening with your family compounds in ways no quarterly earnings report ever will. Every thoughtful handwritten note, every relationship nurtured, every lesson shared are investments whose dividends often arrive years later.
Spending time, on the other hand, is different.
Investors willingly sacrifice something today because they believe it will create greater value tomorrow.
The same principle applies to leadership. Every hour mentoring a young employee is an investment. Every difficult conversation avoided becomes interest on a debt you’ll eventually have to pay. Every evening with your family compounds in ways no quarterly earnings report ever will. Every thoughtful handwritten note, every relationship nurtured, every lesson shared is an investment whose dividends often arrive years later.
Spending time, on the other hand, is different.
Scrolling through your feed, attending meetings that don’t matter, and performing as if busy instead of creating impact. Do not confuse activity with progress. People have become experts at spending time while convincing themselves they're investing it.
My father understood the difference.
"Most people don't come to appreciate the importance of time until just before it runs out."
We’ll call our parents next weekend. We’ll take the vacation after the next promotion. We assume there will always be more time. When the truth is there won't.
For a man who had accomplished so much, he never once mentioned any accomplishments. Not his courtroom victories. Not his title. Not his reputation.
Instead, his one final instruction was "a guide from father to son for the wise use of time." Every day I try to honor that request.
So starting today, whenever someone reaches out to you to get time on your calendar, ask yourself a question “Am I spending time—or investing it?”
That one question will reshape how you lead more than any executive education program, leadership seminar, or boardroom discussion ever could.
Because careers end, titles disappear - even the most extraordinary lives eventually close. But the investments we make with our time continue paying dividends long after we're gone.
My father understood that better than anyone.
And I will forever appreciate that his final verdict wasn't delivered from the bench.
It was delivered from a father to his son.
Love you, Dad.